The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
So Catfish had the extreme pleasure of meeting my ENTIRE extended family this afternoon. It all went well except for one rather embarrasing moment for poor Catters.
Picture the scene. All of my aunties and uncles, cousins, my parents, my little brother (the nice one!) my Gran and my Granddad all sitting a round in a big circle in the lounge. Catfish had a prime spot next to my Gran who was nattering away. Everybody is indulging in nibbles, drinks and good converstaion.
Into this circle comes my mother's dog, who then proceeds to create a rather unfortunate situation for poor Catfish...
Please enter your vote above to guess what happened next...
None of these are good - I chose the lesser of the evils...
And you would be correct Mr Stead! I think that the dog wee was less embarrassing for me than the other two would have been. I think that the JDK's mum was more embarrassed than me.....
.... I was slightly irked by the fact that the JDK ran off saying he was gonna get a tissue or something, but he didn't return for some time. Apparently because he was trying to contain his laughter in the kitchen .... I personally think he may have weed himself a little
What was also amusing was that the dog also weed on a bag of christmas presents
What was also amusing was that the dog also weed on a bag of christmas presents
So..... in episode two of the dog wee story....
... we travelled to down to the JDP (jammie dodger parents) for Boxing Day to have a meal and to open some more presents. There were probably in the region of 50-60 presents under his Mum's tree (most of which were for the JDK - because everybody thinks he's wonderful, unlike Mr Steadman!! ). Of the 50-60 presents there were two for me - one from the JDP, and one from the JDK.
What I want to know is.... how exactly did one of my presents under the tree, get all damp and smell of wee!! Fortunately it was a DVD in a plastic wrapper and so wasn't badly damaged.... BUT HOW???? The JDK still hasn't explained to me what his mother's pets have against me....
(btw- this present wasn't in the bag that were weed on at the family gathering!!)
Aw bless - well, I like you Kaz - even if the JDF (JD Family) doesnt and dont you go paying any heed to what the JDK might have been saying about you either!
If you were my bird, I wouldnt be peeing on your presents unless you asked me to so there...
And I do like the JDK honest - he is my care in the community project, I'm paid by that nice Mister Blair to hang around with him...
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
I specifically told the dog to pee on my brother's presents!
Speaking of the JDP - the JDM (Jammie Dodger Mother) decorated the dinner table with the napkins pictured below. Yes, everyone, that's right, my mum put out decapitated Santas on the table. How wrong is that?
