The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay...only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the plaster cast.
I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat.
We never would have found Chad in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Don got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him.
Did you know that if you put gasoline on a fire, the gasoline will blow up? The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did........and also some of our clothes. David is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Don gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Don said that with a car that old you have to expect something to break down, that's probably why he can't get insurance.
We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.
Scoutmaster Don is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Don wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Wade and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Don said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with the food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster.
He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?
He said he is going to show us something else he learned in prison tonight......we can't wait to find out what - we're learning so much!
I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy some Vaseline.
There is a fly flying 12inches above a river, when he spots a trout swimming around. The Fly thinks, if I drop down 6 inches that trout is going to get me...
At this point the trout sees the fly and thinks if that fly drops down 6 inches and I jump 6 inches I'll have that fly..
In the meantime there is a fisherman on the bank and he sees both the fly and the trout, and thinks if that fly comes down 6 inches and the trout jumps up six inches I will cast my rod and catch the trout.
Just along in the bushes there is a mouse observing and he thinks if that fly comes down 6 inches and the trout jumps up six inches and the fisherman casts his rod to catch the trout, I will run along and eat the fisherman's sandwiches.
Up in a nearby tree there is a cat who thinks if that fly comes down 6 inches and the trout jumps up six inches and the fisherman casts his rod to catch the trout and the mouse runs along and eats the fisherman's sandwiches, I will jump out of the tree and run and catch the mouse.
At this point no one has noticed it rained the night before.
So,
The fly comes down 6 inches and the trout jumps up six inches to catch the fly and the fisherman casts his rod to catch the trout and the mouse runs along and eats the fisherman's sandwiches and the cat jumps out of the tree, runs along and catches the mouse.............slips on the wet grass.........and goes straight into the river with a splash !!
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The moral of the story is that when a fly drops six inches there is usually a wet pussy involved.....
