The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Move to new planet, says Hawking The human race must move to a planet beyond our Solar System to protect the future of the species, physicist Professor Stephen Hawking has warned.
He told the BBC that life could be wiped out by a nuclear disaster or an asteroid hitting the planet.
But the Cambridge academic added: "Once we spread out into space and establish colonies, our future should be safe."...
...blah blah blah...
...The physicist was not given many years to live when he was diagnosed with motor neurone disease in the 1960s, aged 22.
He said since then he had "learned not to look too far ahead, but to concentrate on the present".
"I am not afraid of death but in no hurry to die," he said.
"My next goal is to go into space; maybe Richard Branson will help me."
Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Group has contracted a firm to design and build a passenger spaceship.