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Post Info TOPIC: Monks


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Nov 10, 2006
Monks


Here's a Friday joke for y'all!


 


A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The Monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car.

As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound not like anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.

The next morning, he asks the Monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave.

Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again. The Monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."

The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a Monk, then please, make me a Monk." The Monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a Monk."

The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A Monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the Monks. "In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."

The Monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a Monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."

The Monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."

The Monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond. Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The Monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound......

















But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a Monk.



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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.


Teiam Member




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Posts: 2078
Date: Nov 10, 2006



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Proud House-Owner




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Date: Nov 10, 2006



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I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Nov 10, 2006



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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.


I ain't a Pirate and I ain't called Anne, but I sure am Bonnie!

(Mrs)





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Date: Nov 10, 2006



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current location: Antrim. I like it.


I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Nov 13, 2006

Allow me to make amends:


A man sent the following fax to his wife:


My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs; that you, with your age and with your 54 year old body, can no longer supply.

I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this fax, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don't be perturbed. I shall be back home before midnight.
Your Husband


When the man came home, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband,

I received your fax and thank you for being honest. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, my tennis coach, who,like your secretary is also 18 years old.

As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 more often than 54 into 18.

Therefore, I will not be back before lunchtime tomorrow.
Your Wife


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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



Status: Offline
Posts: 4936
Date: Nov 13, 2006

Oh Yes!

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Don't you just love it?


"I'm Lois!"


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Posts: 4979
Date: Nov 13, 2006

Very cool! - I shall now circulate that around the office and sit with pride as everyone tells me how clever I am!

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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson



I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Nov 13, 2006

You mean they don't say that already?  Odd.

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.


"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
Posts: 4979
Date: Nov 13, 2006

Sometimes they need prompting...

__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson



I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Nov 13, 2006

They must be very, very dumb, then.

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.


Teiam Member




Status: Offline
Posts: 2078
Date: Nov 13, 2006

Hahahahahahaha thanks for that :)

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