The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
When you're out in town on a Saturday night & it gets to kicking out time, if your mate starts suggesting to all & sundry to get a taxi back home, grab stuff for a BBQ & walk down to the beach DISUADE THEM FROM THIS COURSE OF ACTION. Even if you feel great on the Sunday, despite having gone to bed at 6am, I can guarantee it will catch up with you!
Off to give the dog a quick walk, make some tea, then straight to bed! Night folks!
I actually tried to do this last summer, in Nowhere, Wisconsin (while I had my fu Manchu). But because I was walking the block with a bottle of Patron, a friendly local police officer stopped me. He asked me (I was with a few mates) where I got the bottle. Being the honest chap I am I told him I purchased it in Minneapolis, which I did. So he says “If any of the pubs around here have a missing bottle, you’re in deep trouble.” I started laughed, uncontrollably, at this point. This prompts him to respond with “You must think I’m a dumb small-town cop.” To which I says “I didn’t say that.” He then looks at my mates and says “Get this guy away from me and clear the streets!”
Night then Sharon. 
