The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Top Gear's Richard Hammond is seriously ill in hospital after a crash in a jet-powered car while filming for the BBC programme.
The 36-year-old presenter was taken by air ambulance to Leeds General Infirmary's neurological unit.
A spokesman for the hospital said Mr Hammond was "stable".
Mr Hammond had been driving a dragster-style car capable of reaching 300mph at the former RAF airfield in Elvington, near York.
The crash will be investigated by the Health and Safety Executive and the BBC.
The BBC said in a statement: "We are looking into all the factors of this accident and it would be inappropriate to comment further at this stage until we know the full situation."
The dragster car he was driving was believed to have been travelling at more than 300mph when it crashed.
JonnyStead wrote: Ah interesting - no further treatment planned then because thats a recoup only facility - they dont have a surgery... thats even better news.
They have the only intensive care unit left in Bristol are you know. How shite is that?
But they also have a really good physiotherapy and sports injury department so looks like he's on the road to a full recovery. Doctors said on the news today "6 months for full recovery" ... so 3 - 6 weeks for his injuries and then another 5 months for physio. At least he's going to make it.
In case anyone missed it, the Hamster was back on TV last night and taking quite a ribbing from his Top Gear colleagues. Unsurprisingly, it's on YouTube already - but you can watch it in a slightly more official capacity on the BBC Website