The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back"
Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!
1. He smells funny. 2. He's aesthetically... interesting. In the way that a broken window is interesting. 3. I like men that are dumber then a box of rocks. 4. He uses a hair brush instead of a comb. Very effete. 5. He sings like a girl. I like girl singers. 6. He can count to ten using his toes. 7. He's not afraid to experiment with shirts that look like tablecloths. Mad, mad tablecloths. 8. He sticks his elbows out when he runs. 9. He sounds a bit Brummie when he gets excited. 10. He reminds me of my first pet dog, when it got old and a bit senile. And he pees in the garden.
I lurve the JDK because:
1. He's very clever. 2. He's very handsome. 3. He's very strong. 4. He's very funny. 5. He's has a lovely singing voice. 6. He smells of manly ruggedness. 7. He doesn't need to experiment with shirts that look like tablecloths. Mad, mad tablecloths. 8. He oozes coolness, just like the Fonz and Steve McQueen. 9. He sounds the same when he gets excited as he does the rest of the time. 10. He's the JDK. That's all the reason I need.
In retrospect, it's clear that the JDK is a much better prospect for my affections than Stead. In fact when I think about Stead now, I feel a bit queasy. Like being on a boat in a storm with 37 urine soaked winos.
Andromeda wrote: I took a break from unpacking and painting...
This unpacking and painting seems to be taking a while. Remind me again. It was a bungalow you bought, not a castle, yes? It's the handbag collection isn't it? That's what's taking all the time!
JonnyStead wrote: JDK is very unkind - I dont know why I let him hang around with me...
If by 'very' you mean 'awe inspiringly' and by 'unkind you mean 'cool, handsome and benevolent', then yes. Yes I am.
This unpacking and painting seems to be taking a while. Remind me again. It was a bungalow you bought, not a castle, yes? It's the handbag collection isn't it? That's what's taking all the time!
Never blame it on the handbags. They're too cute to blame.
Partially my indecisiveness on colors... but mostly the sheer volume of Darrin's warhammer collection