The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Oh, that's not good! Here, I brought you some flowers (I'm not fluttering my eyelashes at you, I've just got a bit of dirt in there!). You'd best get back to with a to hug & hopefully you'll not be for much longer.
That's soooo kind of you. I don't know what to say. (Don't worry about the grit, keep batting your eyelids like that and it'll soon go!) Blessed tablets I'm on are making my emotions skitter all over the place. It's a good job I don't suffer from depression or i'd have done myself an injury by now.
I can safely go back to bed now. 
(I'm not fluttering my eyelashes at you, I've just got a bit of dirt in there!). You'd best get back to 
with a 
to hug & hopefully you'll not be 
for much longer.
