The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A little of both maybe? I woke up yesterday around... hmm it was late... probably 7pm or something around there, so it's not quite bed time yet. Maybe another hour or so.
Personally, I think it would just be easier if I moved to a different time zone.
A heavy tax? What's that then? A tax on heavy things or a tax thet must be paid in heavy things... like, say bulldozers? So when the inland revenue send me my tax demand it'll say something like:
Dear JDK
Thank you for submitting your tax return correctly and on time. Because we are so vastly inefficient, however it has taken us twenty seven weeks to look at your form, meaning that it has now passed the required submission date. We therefore, in accordance with a klaw that we have just made up for the purpose, fine you the sum of £1000.
We have calculated the amount of tax you owe us based on your income, declared capital gains and some random multiplier that we have arbitrarily decided to apply to it beacuse we were bored and have come to the conclusion that you owe us fourteen bulldozers, one small digger and a spade. Please can you ensure that they are all yellow.
