The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Sorry to Gatecrash, but I heard that you guys were really really cool. Thought I'd come and see what all the fuss was about... even though I don't like Jammie Dodgers
By the way, the JDK owes me £99 and I'm not leaving until I get it...
I'm not at liberty to disclose the services that Catfish supplied to incur such a debt. It's enough to say that I enjoyed every minute of it. You can infer the rest for yourselves!