Five Surgeons
———————-
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table
because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything
inside them is colour coded.”
The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best;
everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers, those
guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and
when the job takes longer than you said it would.”
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed “You’re all wrong,
politicians are the easiest to operate on.”
“There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head
and arse are interchangeable.

-------------------------------------------------



The Police Stop

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding
and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver’s license?

Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended
when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this
vehicle?

Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That’s right. But come to think of
it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove
box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after
I shot and killed the woman who owns this car
and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called
his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by
police, and the captain approached the driver
to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who’s car is this?

Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove
box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove
box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk?
I was told you said there’s a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer
who stopped you said you told him you didn’t
have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the
glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the
trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet he told you I was speeding,
too.



Oh yeah, and i get the keys to my house this evening as well