The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
June 6, 2006 — Genes and gender help determine an individual’s urge to scratch, suggests a new study on pruritus, otherwise known as itch.
The study is the first to demonstrate sex differences in itch-induced scratching behavior in animals. The researchers studied mice, but the findings could apply to humans and other mammals.
The conclusion? Females scratched themselves 23 percent more often than males did.
"We haven’t investigated the underlying mechanisms of the sex difference yet, but they usually involve gonadal (reproductive gland) hormones, such as estrogen, progesterone and testosterone, either during development or in adulthood," said Jeffrey Mogil, one of the researchers.
Mogil, a specialist in the genetics of pain at McGill University in Canada, and his colleagues induced itching in the mice by administering chloroquine, a malaria drug known to cause itchiness.
Nice use of the word 'gonadal'. We don't see that word in print often enough...
Hmm. So you were obviously unimpressed by that scientific oddity. How 'bout this one to tickle our ...er... fancy?
Ants 'use an internal pedometer' Desert ants use an internal "pedometer" to measure exact marching distances, according to a study.
Researchers knew foraging insects could navigate using light from the sky, but were puzzled by the animals' ability to gauge the length of ground covered.
By manipulating the ants' leg lengths to give them longer and shorter strides, a Swiss/German team found the ants "counted" steps to judge distance.
To investigate, scientists from the University of Ulm, Germany, and the University of Zurich, Switzerland, set some ants off on a foraging trip along a straight tunnel, but once they had reached the food their legs were manipulated to either make them longer by adding stilts, or shorter by partially amputating them.
The ants were then returned to the same spot to begin their homeward-bound journey. However, the researchers discovered the ants with longer legs overshot the nest entrance, while those with the shortened legs undershot it.
Aren't you glad they've cleared that up? Hmm? Aren't you? Glad? Hmm?
Anyway...
I'm off to see if there's a market for ant sized prosthetic limbs...
Yes. See, what I did there was take the word amputee and cleverly manipulated it to include the word ant. It was jolly funny and may go down in history as one of the greatest comedy moments. Ever.