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The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> JDBB -> The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> Performance review
Post Info TOPIC: Performance review
VicM


Baaaaa.
No, really - Just Baaaaa.

Status: Offline
Posts: 1561
Date: Jun 24, 2004
Performance review
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Our performance review system means that you get rated in one of the follwing categories:


Unsatisfactory, Below Expected, Good, Superior or Outstanding.


I did a piece of work for the cheif exec today (we're a really really big company - he's a very important man - no-one has ever seen him!!).


He sent me a note saying the work I did for him was "Tremendous".


I forwarded it to my boss and asked him if tremendous was better then outstanding and got the following reply:


 
I think the new rating scale we will be using for 2H2004 reviews is something
like

Unsatisfactory
Below Expected
Respectable
Sound
Satisfactory
Good
Jolly Good
Very Good
Really Good
Really Really Good
Sterling
Commendable
Superior
Splendid
First-rate
Spiffing
Totally Spiffing
Superb
Marvellous
Outstanding
Exceptional
Flawless
Ace
Wonderful
Tremendous (especially when delivered by CEO)

Craig


Funny man yes??!



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NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




Status: Offline
Posts: 5453
Date: Jun 24, 2004
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One addition:

Walking on water (a real category in my boss' world ).

At a way Vicster!




Psst, as big as Barclays Bank?

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Andromeda


Proud House-Owner




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Posts: 1139
Date: Jun 24, 2004
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I know its a few rungs down, but I want to be Totally Spiffing just cuz it sounds cool


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Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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Posts: 4936
Date: Jun 24, 2004
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Well done Mrs M. You da man (?)

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VicM


Baaaaa.
No, really - Just Baaaaa.

Status: Offline
Posts: 1561
Date: Jun 24, 2004
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quote:
Originally posted by: NateO
"One addition: Walking on water (a real category in my boss' world ). At a way Vicster! Psst, as big as Barclays Bank?"

Not as big as Barclays, but bigger than Sony, Ford, Volkswagon and lots of others!!



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VicM


Baaaaa.
No, really - Just Baaaaa.

Status: Offline
Posts: 1561
Date: Jun 24, 2004
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You think you worked out what company from my work today didn't you?!!!

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NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




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Date: Jun 24, 2004
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NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




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Posts: 5453
Date: Jun 24, 2004
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You were just randomly hacking into the bank then?

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VicM


Baaaaa.
No, really - Just Baaaaa.

Status: Offline
Posts: 1561
Date: Jun 24, 2004
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Was nothing to do with Barclays Bank!!!!

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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Jun 24, 2004
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Vic may have to have me killed for telling you this, but she actually works for a shady government organisation that specialises in shady shadiness - particularly in shady locations.


Hmm.  Now I've spilled the beans, I guess I'd better keep an eye out for any shady characters lurking about in the ...erm... shady places...




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NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




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Date: Jun 24, 2004
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What's all of this ****e then:

data barclays1 (index = (curr_agnt));
set barclays (rename = (agent_num = curr_agnt));

......

??


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NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




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Posts: 5453
Date: Jun 24, 2004
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quote:
Originally posted by: ddvmor
"Vic may have to have me killed for telling you this, but she actually works for a shady government organisation that specialises in shady shadiness - particularly in shady locations.
Hmm.  Now I've spilled the beans, I guess I'd better keep an eye out for any shady characters lurking about in the ...erm... shady places..."

That's not why dude. She's destined to either way as she did not forward that spam message to 100and1 people yester eve.

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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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quote:
Originally posted by: NateO
"What's all of this ****e then: data barclays1 (index = (curr_agnt)); set barclays (rename = (agent_num = curr_agnt)); ...... ??"

 


She's in marketing.  Some sort of comparison, I'd imagine.  problem is, it's all a load of wankie-bollix, so it's difficult for me to stay focussed when she's telling me about it of an evening.


(p.s. not really, Vic.  Honest, I listen to very word you say!)



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bonniepirateanne


I ain't a Pirate and I ain't called Anne, but I sure am Bonnie!

(Mrs)




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Posts: 3266
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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darren i have a question.. what kind of fraud do you actually find? are you like tom hanks on catch me if you can? (i know he's fbi in that but you know)

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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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Cheque fraud, internet banking fraud, lending fraud, cheese fraud, identity fraud, encashment fraud.  You name it I spot it.  So does Susan - although she seems to spend more time fixing the team's holiday spreadsheet (because some fcekur keeps fcuking it up!) than doing any actual useful work

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Batman O'Leary


A.K.A. Damo_Daly
I have a cool name...

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Posts: 559
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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cheese fraud sounds good

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bonniepirateanne


I ain't a Pirate and I ain't called Anne, but I sure am Bonnie!

(Mrs)




Status: Offline
Posts: 3266
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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i can't believe people would try and cheat their cheese out of money

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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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Sad but true

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VicM


Baaaaa.
No, really - Just Baaaaa.

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Posts: 1561
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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Can you believe that people really try to con their banks out of cheese?



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bonniepirateanne


I ain't a Pirate and I ain't called Anne, but I sure am Bonnie!

(Mrs)




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Posts: 3266
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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someone needs to brie them down i reckon

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VicM


Baaaaa.
No, really - Just Baaaaa.

Status: Offline
Posts: 1561
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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Tie them up with cheese strings.


That'll stilton them.



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bonniepirateanne


I ain't a Pirate and I ain't called Anne, but I sure am Bonnie!

(Mrs)




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Posts: 3266
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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that'll get their goat

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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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Edam them all!  I won't cheddar a tear for them when they end up in the cracker!

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NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




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Posts: 5453
Date: Jun 25, 2004
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So does Susan - although she seems to spend more time fixing the team's holiday spreadsheet (because some fcekur keeps fcuking it up!) than doing any actual useful work

At a way Suey!

What's the problem?

Want some code that locks up the workbook for editing when Jack Arse attempts to bollocks it up?

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Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



Status: Offline
Posts: 4936
Date: Jun 26, 2004
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quote:
Originally posted by: NateO
" At a way Suey! What's the problem? Want some code that locks up the workbook for editing when Jack Arse attempts to bollocks it up? "

I don't want to keep having to fix it - I don't get paid to do admin.  But the person who does do admin can't even fix an autosum when someone manually overtypes a figure! Are you reading me?


But yes, send me the code anyway I'll see if it'll work in my circumstances.  And thanks Nucker.


I know D thinks I don't do valuable work like he does (!) but I AM ONLY PART TIME!



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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Jun 26, 2004
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Didn't say it wasn't valuable, merely that you shouldn't have to do it!  

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Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



Status: Offline
Posts: 4936
Date: Jun 26, 2004
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I know mate.

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Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



Status: Offline
Posts: 4936
Date: Jun 26, 2004
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I appreciate that you realise I have crap to deal with sometimes. I didn't mean to say you were belittling my efforts. Sorry to moan but I hate people who c0ck up my handiwork.


I did catch a real fraudster yesterday clap
but the money had already gone - bummer, eh?



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NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




Status: Offline
Posts: 5453
Date: Jun 28, 2004
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I don't want to keep having to fix it - I don't get paid to do admin.  But the person who does do admin can't even fix an autosum when someone manually overtypes a figure! Are you reading me?

Yes.
But yes, send me the code anyway I'll see if it'll work in my circumstances. And thanks Nucker.

You're welcome.

But I haven't written it yet. What is the code looking for? E.g., a specific arse by username, a cell being changed in certain manner, etc...? Also, have you implemented worksheet protection?

Happy to help, just need a few details on what to write. Also, should the code zap the bolloxer with electricity from the PC?

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Andromeda


Proud House-Owner




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Posts: 1139
Date: Jun 28, 2004
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Happy to help, just need a few details on what to write. Also, should the code zap the bolloxer with electricity from the PC?


Oooh! Can I have that code too?



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