The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
... a girlfriend, that I didn't know about? I didn't think I had one at the moment...
Odd question, I know, but here's another true, yet, hard to follow/make up story... I've changed the names and some of the inside jokes, to protect the innocent:
Sitting at the local pub the other night and 'Joe' sits down next to me and says "Hey, congratulations on the girlfriend, man." All of the sudden my face inverts (like the Keystone beer commercials!!) and I says "Erm, thanks. Which one?" *laughter breaks out*
So he says, "You know, the one you always joke about '______' with!" The confusion is just about maxing out at this point, so I says "Erm, I don't joke about that ****, that would be 'Harry', I like my ********* as they are, thank you. What about 'Jane'?"
'Joe' responds, "Well, I asked her if she was dating anyone, and she said 'I just starting dating a guy named Nate that I've been friends with for a long time.'" Now we've entered the twilight zone, so I says "Erm, come again?!"
As you can see, Jammie mates, the confusion is strong in this one!!
Clearly this was an excercise in cooling 'Joe's' jets, if you will, and you will. But, while no last names were mentioned, that was clearly a reference to me, and she's got to know, as 'Joe' and I are friends, that this is coming right back to me, to say the least. She could have made up anything, yet she chose to go this, very not low profile, route.
Hook a brother up and vote now, 'cause I'm a little lost here!!
I’m going to add a complicating fact or two, to this, just to really muddy the waters, because this is a little opaque...
1) 'Jane' and I have always joked about dating; in fact, we spent an entire evening one night discussing our first date. Yes, being 'under-the-influence' can be fun!! Erm...
2) 'Jane', 'Joe', and I have a ton of mutual friends. 'Jane' and 'Joe' work together and I know virtually all of their colleagues. So to start a rumor like this, is to create some serious gossip fodder!
So, I guess where I get confused, and the answer probably lies in this, was this a calculated, a non-calculated, or a miscalculated maneuver, of sorts? It wasn't random, obviously...
In my experience dude - Women usually let you know when they're interested.
Actually - in my experience they usually let you know that they are not! and say things like "Stead you pissed b*st*rd my face is up here" and so on...
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Go Nate! 
