The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Y'know that's one movie I don't have on DVD. And it's a classic! I remember holding off 'cos there was some sort of rumour of a directors cut special edition with extra frilly bits and more gold stars and a commentary by the producer's daughter's dog.... but then I forgot.
I thought...never mind...must be wrong...best get on amazon...don't want to let my buddy down...never forgive me...but I thought...don't go on about it...just do it...
Bugrit. I've missed all his second birthdays...in all the time I've known him...never said...never complained...no hints...poor Darren...must think I don't care...better make this a day to remember...
No-one ever remembers my July birthday or my August birthday, either. I won't even bring up the September October and November ones because it hurts too much...
Darren, Honey, I feel so bad. Will you ever forgive me? All l this time I called you my friend and I never made it my business to find out that you had...erm...other birthdays too.