The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Well... I suspect that they won't be quite right. I am prepared, however to test this recipe. Sharon, you must prepare home-made Jammie Dodgers and send them to me for consumption. Chop chop!
Darren, my kitchen is covered in ceiling-dust (ceiling dust being a mix of plaster-dust, artex-dust & general dust that falls under floorboards, and bear in mind that the porn was pretty modern, I found stuff up there from the late 1800's, so one can only assume the dust starts from around then). Would you like to reconsider that dictate?
You'd not get them before you went off to Oz. They'd be very soft by the time you got back, that is if they hadn't been left on your doorstep, to be rained on & eaten by marauding badgers, leaving you with nothing but a soggy bag of mouldy crumbs upon your return.
That's a scary, scary picture. When I saw it I was so scared, I peed a little. I'm gonna set loads of badger traps around my house...
Here's one I designed earlier:
So the unsuspecting badger spots the jammie dodger and scuttles over to gobble it up. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't see that the cunning arrangement of branches and leaves is actually a thin layer concealing a similarly cunning pit into which he falls, impaling himself on the extra sharp spiky bits below.
It's great being as clever as me.
You are more than welcome to use my Patented DeBadgerer for your own purposes, but I'd advise against using it to dispose of small irritating children. That's what the DeKidinator is for.
Mr. Badger looks at your Debadgerer and SCOFFS! Yes that's right, he SCOFFS at you.. because that is what badgers do you know. If they are not going after Jammie Dodgers they are SCOFFING at stupid humans who think they can keep them from their Jammie Dodgers.
Pff. You clearly know nothing of badgers. It is genetically impossible for a badger to scoff. It's mostly to do with musculature around their elbows. Very technical.
Pff. Doesn't look like he's complaining to me. I see the giant jammie in all it's glory. You wanna see it, follow the link. If you need me, I'll be down under!
