The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Today I became the poster child for why idiots shoudln't play with matches. I was lighting a candle with a match and somehow I got the match too close to the other matches and they flared in my hand and seared two of my fingers My skin has that ashy grey look that meat does when you first touch it to the hot pan
I find the toilet brush an effective method of keeping stuff clean. Mainly the inside of the toilet, but the same principle applies. You know I'm right...
As for pain relief, I'm sure our Nate can make a few 'medicinal' suggestions that should take your mind off it!
Yes, well my father says an act of questionable intelligence doesn't become a stupid thing you did until you tell other people.... I just have to make sure I keep it clean... Im sure the pain will fade.. in time...
If you had been allowed to play with matches as a child you would have known not to do that, so its your Dad's fault!
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
"I pledge that all schoolchildren will be issued with a box of matches so that they can get their pyromaniacal urges out of the way when it can do the most damage!"
My skin has that ashy grey look that meat does when you first touch it to the hot pan 
