The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Whilst walking in the countryside at the weekend, I came across a rather peculiar and somewhat revelatory sight:
No, your eyes do not deceive you. Those ducks really are walking on water. Frankly, I see this as a miracle and absolute incontrovertible evidence that God does, in fact, exist and that the End Times are upon us!
Or something.
Anyway, immediately after the miraculous walking on water incident, one of these messianic avians wandered over with a bunch of loaves and a bag of fish and started blathering on about how the Pacemakers were especially blessed.
There is a possibility that certain portions of this post are fictional. But the picture is real, I promise!
I see no snow. Please do point it out to me. I can confirm, however that the picture was taken at around 2 or 3pm and the temperature was quite reasonable. Not freezing at all.
Anyway, if one looks closely at the picture, one will note ripples on the water's surface proving that it is not frozen.
The camera doesn't lie, my friends. I witnessed a genuine miracle!
well, you don't need snow for ice. I should know as I come from a country where we have propper winters. Sometimes when it was cold and the lakes start freezing they don't just defreeze when it's a bit warmer for a day, instead the surface starts to liguify (hense the ripples when the wind blows). So leightweighted creatures can walk on it, I bet if you would have tried to copy them the ice would have broken
It's quit simple, you can forget yourcold wintery deductions and turn to a more photographic point of view.
Our friend was simply snapping a lovely watery setting on a winters day, unsuspecting any avian photographic intrustion - no no, we rely on the capable hands of the National Geographic for fantastic animalia photos.
Just before he pressed the trigger two birds dropped from the sky due to loss of the ability to fly, one symptom suggesting bird flu. Don't worry it cannot be caught by humans, anyhow we don't fly so it cannot harm us.
well, you don't need snow for ice. I should know as I come from a country where we have propper winters. Sometimes when it was cold and the lakes start freezing they don't just defreeze when it's a bit warmer for a day, instead the surface starts to liguify (hense the ripples when the wind blows). So leightweighted creatures can walk on it, I bet if you would have tried to copy them the ice would have broken
Pff. Pseudo-scientific claptrap if you ask me . I don't need no scientific theories. I know what I saw. I was there - you wuzn't. And there's no need to boast about your 'proper' winters. Winter sucks, so why would we want a 'proper' one? So there!
Finger Master wrote:
Our friend was simply snapping a lovely watery setting on a winters day, unsuspecting any avian photographic intrustion ... Just before he pressed the trigger two birds dropped from the sky due to loss of the ability to fly...
'Finger Master'. That's an interesting choice of name, new boy! Sounds a bit rude.
Anyway. If you lot choose not to believe the evidence of my own eyes, so be it. I'm the one that will spend eternity in paradise because I believe in the Duck Messiah. I'm gonna call you all Thomas from now on!
about how the Pacemakers were especially blessed.There is a possibility that certain portions of this post are fictional. But the picture is real, I promise!
Why are pacemakers blessed? Coz they keep people alive?
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
