The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A gang of thieves used a bitch in heat to distract a guard dog so they could raid a factory in Brazil.
After breaking into the factory in Santa Maria, they put the bitch near the guard dog, reports Zero Hora newspaper.
And while the guard dog was distracted, the gang took £10,000 in cash from the Segalin agricultural products company.
The secretary, who was the first to arrive at the factory, told the police: "When I arrived at the company I saw Zulu, the dog happily chasing after a female dog."
CCTV footage confirmed the secretary's suspicions.
A police spokesperson said: "Those are very creative and resourceful thieves, that was a very good idea!"
What I love even better than undercover cop stories.. are stories where the person goes in to rob a place.. be it a home, or a business... AND FALLS ASLEEP.