The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
...than walking into the loos at work and hearing someone straining like they're having a baby in one of the cubicles. It's enough to make you walk straight out again.
A couple of months ago I had a similar misfortune. A fellow co-worker came on a dead run (well at least as fast as a 400 pound man can) into the loo. He flung the door to the stall open and jumped inside. Now I know for a fact that he did not have enough time to get his trousers down yet when I heard this loud, organic sounding noise. This was closely followed by an even louder Aw..........sh!t. You be the judge!
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You can pour syrup on poop, but that don't make it pancakes!
You want to hear a really gross one? Friend of a friend one, but I'm assured it's true: Night out, at the stage where everyone's a bit drunk. A guy is sat on the loo, but hasn't properly locked the door; another (even more pissed) guy runs in, pushes the cubicle door open & , right into the first guy's boxers!
I was taking a test in elementary school... and we were all in rows of tables and chairs.. and it was a very important serious test... at least I'm fairly sure... anyway...
Guy in front of me must have had nerves or something because he just poo'd himself right there during the test. The kind of poo you can't hide.
I felt bad, but I was gagging so much I just prayed he'd get up soon so that I could finish my test.
My 555th post is about poo. Something to note I think.
