Smarty pants answer #1 A lady was  picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smarty  pants answer #2  The cop got out of his car, and the kid who was stopped  for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the  cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When  the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a  ticket. 

Smarty pants answer #3  A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads 'Low bridge ahead'. Before  he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes  up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck  driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of  gas."

 

And finally smarty pants answer #4  A college teacher reminds  her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate  any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a  nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in  your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smarty pants guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,  "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to  stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles authentically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly  says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your  other hand."