Hmm.  I think I'll answer this by saying:

QUESTION: Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC?
    
    ANSWER: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask:
    
    · The Catholic Church's approach to characters: The nice characters go to Heaven, where they are bathed in the light of happiness. The naughty characters are punished for their sins. Naughty characters are those involved in the creation of naughty words, such as "breast," "sex" and "contraception."
    
    · The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its karma is good, then after it has been deleted it will be reincarnated as a different, higher character. Those funny characters above the numbers on your keyboard will become numbers, numbers will become letters, and lower-case letters will become upper-case.
    
    · The 20th-century bitter cynical nihilist explanation: Who cares? It doesn't really matter if they're on the page, deleted, undeleted, underlined, etc. It's all the same.
    
    · The Mac user's explanation: All the characters written on a PC and then deleted go to straight to PC hell. If you're using a PC, you can probably see the deleted characters, because you're in PC hell also.
    
    · Stephen King's explanation: Every time you hit the (Del) key you unleash a tiny monster inside the cursor, who tears the poor unsuspecting characters to shreds, drinks their blood, then eats them, bones and all. Hah, hah, hah!
    
    · Dave Barry's explanation: The deleted characters are shipped to Battle Creek, Michigan, where they're made into Pop-Tart filling; this explains why Pop-Tarts are so flammable, while cheap imitations are not flammable. I'm not making this up.
    
    · IBM's explanation: The characters are not real. They exist only on the screen when they are needed, as concepts, so to delete them is merely to de-conceptualize them. Get a life.
    
    · PETA's (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) explanation: You've been DELETING them??? Can't you hear them SCREAMING??? Why don't you go CLUB some BABY SEALS while wearing a MINK, you pig!!!!

I obviously did not make my meaning entirely clear.  To clarify:

A minister, tired of tending to the needs and demands of his flock Sunday after Sunday after Sunday, decided to "play hooky".
One Sunday he loaded his squirrel rifle and headed out on a hike. He intended to walk through the woods totally alone, and just plink at any squirrels that might present themselves.

Towards late afternoon, the preacher was walking back home along an old logging road. He had long since exhausted his ammunition and had incidentally not hit one squirrel. He was feeling relaxed and refreshed.

On turning a corner, however, he came face to face with one very large bear. This bear was huge, and he was eyeing the preacher as if he were one bear size bite.

The preacher dropped to his knees and bowed his head. "Oh Lord!", he said, "have mercy on me, a sinner. I have done wrong.
But if I could ask just one thing of you, Lord: Lord, please make this bear a Christian!"

"I know", he continued, in his best hellfire voice, "that I was wrong to abandon my flock today. To think ill of those you have put in my charge. But please Lord: make this bear a Christian!"

At this point the preacher hears an strange thump. He lifts his eyes to see the mighty bear on HIS knees in the dirt. He massive paws came together in prayerful attitude, and the great beast bowed his head. Then the bear spoke: "Oh Lord: bless this meal we are about to receive............."

Did anyone throw a sickie today?

I've been sitting in the garden - then the laptop got a bit hot so I came in again!

Which one's about religion?

I did one one about a bloke being conned by some fake prostitutes, one about swearing, a computer joke, a hungry bear joke and one about bad taxi drivers.

And I didn't mention sunshine at all (nice to see ya Joe).  So get out of my thread all you sunshine talker-abouters.

Nobody told me about the rule that said vics threads couldnt be hijacked - you'd think that she was giving DD special favors or something if this is the case!

Oops, that was a bit mean - the heat in here must be getting to me

Mmm... tea

Thats what i was talking about - i always usually get stuck making the tea in my house - or any house i go into, i betcha she buys you jds as well!

Cheese straws, eh?  What's for tea, Vic?  I'm getting hungry.  (I'm allowed to hijack my own thread for the purposes of culinary discussion).

Oh yeah... And BEWARE MY WRATH BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!

Dave was bragging to his boss one day: "I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I will know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave how about Tom Cruise?"

"Tom and I are old mates, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood, knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise greets Dave warmly:  "Hey! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical and says the Cruise encounter was just a fluke.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Dave says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

 
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Dave.

"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

 
So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's the f*ck is that up there in the white frock on the balcony with Dave?"

I know.  I'm the man.

(What religion thing?  Who shouldn't I mention it to?)