---

...their children, Maryanne, 17, and Sammyjoe, 15...

---

Well, that's how far I got into the article before I started giggling.  Question is, where are Jimmy Sue, Bobby Will and Fishy Bob, hmm?

---

"At least in Bristol, you are not forever being shouted at to buy this, buy this," said Mrs Coates.

---

She obviously never goes into the centre of Bristol then.  Feckin' chuggers and Big Issue salespersons and people trying to shove bits of spammy paper into your hands.  Grrr.

---

She said the family had never previously travelled because "everything I want is here" in Bristol.

---

Like... um... the offie... Oh and mum lives in the same street with her sister's ex-husband who got kicked out of the TA, but that's ok, cos he has loads of bling and he knows a guy who gets cheap fags of the back of a lorry.

---

She added: "I refuse to pay to live somewhere else when we are paying a mortgage to live in our own house.

---

What?

---

She said she and her husband would probably not use their passports again. "We will keep them but only to use as ID," she said. "Thailand was cheap, you can get 200 cigarettes for £4. But you have to spend about £2,000 just to get there.

"We can go to Weston-super-Mare for £3 each. And that includes an open-top bus tour to Brean."

---

Oh God.  Can I get off, now?

It wouldn't be so bad if they simply said 'We can't afford to go away, so we make do with the mud-flats of Weston-Super-Mare and very nice it is too'.  There again, there's loads of great things to see in and around Bristol, but Weston Super Mare and Brean ain't two of 'em.