The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
So here's the thread where you reach back into your sordid past, come clean and tell us about the dumbest or crappiest job you've ever hard. I'll go first.
One summer, while I was working in the club area of a New Forest caravan park (it's a bit bosher than it sounds - it had 3 bars, indoor and outdoor pools, restarants, function rooms and stuff), I was called upon to don a green furry costume of and assist the kiddies entertainer by prancing around as Sammy the Seahorse.
I did this every night for four or five weeks before they pulled me off the duty for doing stuff like stealing the entertainer's microphone and running off through the club with it and about 50 kids trailing along in my wake.
Minimum wage to sweat yer arse off in a flaming hot, poorly ventalated closet... You got the odd perk, like when you fixed up your own supper, but not a great career move...
I've only ever had three jobs: stocking shelves as a child in my dad's off licence, shop assistant in a discount superstore on a Saturday and this one, catching fraudsters, which is great.
I had two one-month stints at my aunt account firm (over x-mas breaks while in college)
the first was to shred files. Thats all I did for 8 hours was shred paper on an abysmally shredder.
the second was to use "Old English" funiture polish on all the woodwork (molding, door frames, etc) in the office. It seems the partners were too cheap to have someone actually refinish or replace the very tattered molding. They thought a little furniture polish would do the trick
JonnyStead wrote: I spent two hours syphoning dirty fish tanks with a hose pipe and my mouth one saturday - after 2 hours of mouth filled with fish poo water I quit... Looking back - did I make the right choice?
we got in the raw chicken bits, in their sauces or not (depending on whether they were to be sauced or not) in giant troughs that we had to bend over into and pull up armfuls of chicken.. transfer to a tray.. and then lay out on racks for cooking..
when we got the drumsticks in we had to fold the skin back around..
and when i got home, at around 1am, my mother always kindly left my pyjamas in the garage so i wouldnt come into the house with smelly clothes on
i worked at a chicken factory one summer.. we got in the raw chicken bits, in their sauces or not (depending on whether they were to be sauced or not) in giant troughs that we had to bend over into and pull up armfuls of chicken.. transfer to a tray.. and then lay out on racks for cooking.. when we got the drumsticks in we had to fold the skin back around.. and when i got home, at around 1am, my mother always kindly left my pyjamas in the garage so i wouldnt come into the house with smelly clothes on
Yeah that's pretty gross, but who do you think supplied the parts? See my previous post.
There were many crappy things about that job. Cleaning the processing machines at the end of the day included emptying the "blood try" which literally caught all the blood and fat through the day ... and held 20 gallons. That was fun. Sifting through buckets of inerds to try and find the bits that are usuable in certain brands of certain products (why, to this day, of all the fast food burger joints I will only eat Burger King). Pushing large pieces of animal through giant mincers, trying not to let your fingers go in ... something I managed for years until I nearly caught one ...luckily it only took a couple of chunks from the end. And finally ... my favourite part, dragging half a cow from one end of the plant to the other.
I hated that job.
And why, for the love of God, did they make us wear WHITE overalls? That really showed up the blood and body parts.
-- Edited by Henglegert Rinkerdink at 10:08, 2006-01-16
This is not really to compete because wow, you guys blow me out of the water, but I will add in my least favorite job
(And believe it or not Jackie, it's not CRSI )
When I was just a youngin' of 15 or 16, I worked at a toy store in the mall during Tickle Me Elmo christmas season. Like everyone else, we sold out of them superfast, but still had about a billion customers coming in every day asking for them. And they were mean about it! On a daily basis you'd get cursed at, yelled at... just bad.
And then it all came to a head one day when a little old lady asked me if we had any Elmos in stock. I replied "No ma'am, I'm sorry, we're all sold out." And she slugged me! I stood there shocked while my manager told me to go in the back room to calm down and he escorted the woman out of the store. Wasn't pretty. I quit shortly after that.
I've had some whoppers of crap jobs after that, but in my mind, none of my other jobs top being hit by a grandma.
Ahem. Sorry. I just needed to get that out, I'll be fine in a minute. 
