The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
This is the girl police are using to try to curb alcohol-related violence in pubs and clubs this Christmas. Officials have commissioned 24-year-old model Rachel Hall to be the face of a new campaign to warn festive revellers in Kingswood who cause trouble and fight that they face on-the-spot £80 fines.
It is thought to be the first time that police in the South West have used a sexy model to help prevent crime.
The posters have been designed to make people realise that binge drinking and its associated violence will not be tolerated.
They are targeted at men and women aged 18 to 24 - the group Home Office figures show are most likely to become involved in an alcohol-induced brawl.
The posters carry simple messages and will be put up just weeks after the new 24-hour drinking laws came in.
Yup. I can see that working. My drunken rage is wearing off already...