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The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> JDBB -> The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> The World's Worst Movies
Post Info TOPIC: The World's Worst Movies
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Dec 7, 2005
The World's Worst Movies
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Ok, following Copper's suggetion in t'other movie thread, I now present the Official JDBB Worst Movie Ever competition.


Here's how we'll do it:


Each person nominates a movie and writes a few words about why it's the worst movie ever made.  Include a suggestion of where we can get hold of a copy of this movie - or clips of the movie or some such, so we can all assess it's merits for ourselves.


We'll have a poll When we have all the entries in!


Now... I'm off to find a copy of Plan 9 From Outer Space!



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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.
bonniepirateanne


I ain't a Pirate and I ain't called Anne, but I sure am Bonnie!

(Mrs)




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Posts: 3266
Date: Dec 7, 2005
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Before Sunset (2004)
link

This is one of those movies that had a pretty good idea.. but just cause they had the good idea doesn't mean they executed it well.. for about an hour you follow a guy and a gal (who used to have a relationship) discussing their good times or whatever as they walk through the streets of paris (or somewhere like that i guess) .. and they don't cut the scene once.. so it's like 'wow, i guess those actors learned their lines well.. and the cameraman didn't trip up' - but really, for me, that was not a redeeming feature for the fact the movie was just boring.



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NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




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Date: Dec 7, 2005
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Aside from obviously bad b-movies and whatnot, I'm going to go with 'Air Force One' (1997), starring Harrison Ford (trailer at link):


http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0118571


It's not just that this is an unrealistic movie, which most are and I can go with... It's the cheese factor, it reaches new levels with this cliché-riddled film.


I mean, here you have the President single-handedly saving the hi-jacked plane, from Russian terrorists no less, and not only is he whipping arse, he's flying the bloody airplane!


Meanwhile, he's ripping of these one-liners that are guaranteed to make you groan, e.g., "GET OFF MY PLANE!" and "I'm counting on you, red, white and blue." And more:


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118571/quotes


What's almost more alarming, is that this film was nominated for awards? Please?!


Han Solo was cool, Indiana Jones was cool, but flies would leave a fresh dog turd to follow this film around. Don't try to polish it.



-- Edited by NateO at 20:55, 2005-12-07

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You can't polish a turd
Andromeda


Proud House-Owner




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Posts: 1139
Date: Dec 10, 2005
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My vote still goes to The Smokers


It's #75 on IMDB's bottom 100. And if that's not enough, read the reviews. With review titles such as "not even worth watching on hbo", "Jarringly awful" and "The photography on the cover of the box was the only good part of the film", you know something stinks in suburbia. Horrible... painful... and after about 20 minutes you not only want to shut it off, but also have an undying urge to throw your dvd player out the window so you never have the option to see anything like it ever again.


I think this review sums it up pretty well:


"There's not many movies where I seriously consider not seeing it all the way through. I watch 5-12 movies a week, new releases and classics, and typically I see them all through to the bitter end.

But 20 minutes into "The Smokers" I was fighting a most uncharacteristic urge to hit the Stop button.

And 30 minutes into the film I found myself in great sympathy of those animals who gnaw their legs off to escape a trap."


 


If you really feel the urge to put yourself through watching this, I suggest Netflix just so you don't actually have to pay for it. If you have a spare $3 burning a hole in your pocket, I believe it's also in the discount bin at walmart. But really, it's not even worth the $3.



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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Dec 10, 2005
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Do you still have both your legs?

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Andromeda


Proud House-Owner




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Date: Dec 10, 2005
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Yes, but I did come very close to scooping out my eyes with a spoon just so I didn't have to see anymore.

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Andromeda


Proud House-Owner




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Date: Dec 10, 2005
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Oh it gets better..


More reviews


Decrepit filmmaking, the likes of which should see at least the director, if not the producers, never hold a similar position again."
-- Oz, EFILMCRITIC.COM 


http://efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=8564&reviewer=1


 


 



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Aodan


Teiam Member




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Date: Dec 10, 2005
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I'm fairly sure I watched it to completion, I'm not sure how, but I should get some sort of medal for it..

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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Dec 10, 2005
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I think this may be appropriate:




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NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




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Posts: 5453
Date: Dec 10, 2005
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Heh:




The Purple Heart is a U.S. military decoration awarded in the name of the President of the United States to those who have been wounded or killed while serving in, or with, the U.S. military after April 5, 1917.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_Heart




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You can't polish a turd
Andromeda


Proud House-Owner




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Posts: 1139
Date: Dec 10, 2005
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Share that medal with me because I not only watched it to completion, but I *own* it.


 


Sad, but true.



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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Dec 10, 2005
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Put it on eBay.  Then we can bet on how much you'll get for it! 

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