The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Is Competitive Eating. Thanks to America this sport of kings has been catching like wild fire!
Membership of the Irish Federation Of Competitive Eaters has more than doubled since this article was published. Competitions at all-you-can-eat buffets are now regular sights around Dublin.
Alway's looking for new members, feel free to join up. All eaters welcome!
....
I think Stead's already a member ... judging by moobs anyway.