The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Ok, so what exactly are the rules governing conkers? Seems like a fun game, from what I gathered from the website linked on the BBC article. Then again, the site was French, and therefore of dubious credibility.
(Had to take a shot at the French, it's my patriotic duty. Apparently.)
It's everyone's duty to take a shot at the f rench, dude.
As for the rules... not a clue. All I remember is that you had to hit the other guy's conker as hard as you could! First one to fall off the string loses!