The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
So, every other weekend, I find myself back at Stead's house, helping him hang doors, paint stuff, pulling murderous vines off the wall and so forth. And all this kind assistance is punctuated by a continual tirade of insults. He constantly questions my parentage, sexual preferences and gender. He mocks my size, my 'enormous comedy clown feet' and my facial hair. And if he's a bit out of breath, he simply flips me the bird.
This evening, when I turned up at his house to help him reseal his bath, he answered the door and announced to the world in general that I was certain part of the male anatomy, that rhymes with 'lock'.
It seems to me that, given all that free labour, he should be a bit nicer to me. Or maybe, because he's terminally incapable of expressing any sort of affection for his fellow man.
So this poll is to see whether Stead should turn over a new leaf and be nice to me, or if we should simply accept that he's a bit of a tosser and let him carry on as normal!
Ah, the Stead conundrum. I voted for the second as, I too, get this level of abuse from the man they call "Skeletor in a wig".
He will never change though. Unfortunately his ego is too large to even realise what he's doing. I dare say he'll read this thread and think "I didn't know he knew another Stead".
The thing to do is use your size advantage and next time he's abusive pile drive the m*****f***** into the floor.
I was trying to imply that you couldn't have "oversize clown's feet" because clown's feet are huge, the bigger the better, therefore you couldn't possibly have "oversize" clown's feet. Or some such.
Ho hum ... I was only trying to be supportive. You lock.
Now look - Im great, I enrich your life and I train you so you dont look like a big lardy tart wobbling down the high street with little girls in dresses pulling on mummy's skirt and pointing at the lady with the big beard and boobies
As for the insults - whenever i am nice to people they only get suspicious so whats the point?
Oh and Hengle - when you can get my barbell off the bench you can come pummle me ok?
I would say though that JDK is a lovely chap who has helped me no end with my house and puts up with my rants very well...
Oh and he loves Andromeda - I found a load of JDK (Heart) Amanda M 's on a piece of paper in his lounge.... heh
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
