Names

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Names

HaloBurn · **Dad** Yarrr...

Wife takes Husband's name anything else is just a bunch of pretentious twaddly nonsense thought up by people with nothing better to do with their time who may as well have stupid bint sewn into their versketchy dresses and screen printed onto their channel handbags - oh and anyone with a trans atlantic accent should be shipped to the middle of the Atlantic with immediate effect.

Batman O'Leary · A.K.A. Damo_Daly I have a cool name...

I agree!

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Ah. 2 thirds of the scottish contingent in agreement there. Anything to say, Lite? (I notice a suspicious vote for option 3 there...)

Gotta say, these days the only real reason to get maried is for the sake of tradition (that and you're sinning if you don't :ahem:). As such, it's traditional for the girl to take the boy's name. If you're going to indulge a tradition, do it properly. Don't do half a job!

Which is pretty much what the Neds said...

Copper · **Superhero Extraordinaire**

How about the option 'WHO GIVES A FECK - ITS UP TO THEM!'

sorry if that is a tad harsh and not in keeping with the boreding spirit...

HaloBurn · **Dad** Yarrr...

Copper wrote:

How about the option 'WHO GIVES A FECK - ITS UP TO THEM!'

sorry if that is a tad harsh and not in keeping with the boreding spirit...

Yeah but why should I let that get in the way of a good rant?

bonniepirateanne · Date: Sep 28, 2005

what's a trans-atlantic accent? i may be in trouble..

anyway, i'm getting married in two weeks hehehehehe
and i shall most definitely be taking his name and dropping my old one - it's just the way it should be

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

It ain't two weeks until tomorrow Katie. And even that's dependent on whether you consider the two weeks to be an inclusive or exclusive calculation.

As for Copper... I think the fine-tuning has affected her brain and made her cranky! Finish your homework Copp - not far to go!

-- Edited by ddvmor at 16:51, 2005-09-28

Truckman · Old. But wise!

bonniepirateanne wrote:

i shall most definitely be taking his name and dropping my old one - it's just the way it should be

Agreed...Ben

Aodan · Teiam Member

Legally (license, social security card, bank/credit/etc) I kept my last name. Socially (with family and some friends) I use his. My marriage license has me as a hyphenate.

My son has his father's last name but my last name as a middle name. He can choose to use it later or not.

I didn't do it to prove some point - I've just always had my last name - indeed I like my last name, and wasn't keen on giving it up. Besides, if you knew my husband's last name you would agree that my first name just doesn't blend very well with it at all. This has the added benefit of irking my mother in law.

We got married so that his mother would not be his next of kin should something happen to him. We were perfectly fine co-habitating for 7 years before we finally got married. But then I realized one night while he was away on a business trip that if god forbid something were to happen to him - his mother would be the one to be making all the decisions for him, and that our life that we had built together would mean nothing.

Plus our honeymoon was awesome - and it was the perfect excuse to take 2 weeks from work.

-- Edited by Aodan at 20:18, 2005-09-28

Copper · **Superhero Extraordinaire**

Erm. Why is that the way it should be?

-- Edited by Copper at 20:19, 2005-09-28

-- Edited by Copper at 20:20, 2005-09-28

sha76jam · Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree

Well I never did like the last name I was born with, so I took my ex's & I'm not giving it back!

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

sha76jam wrote:

Well I never did like the last name I was born with, so I took my ex's & I'm not giving it back!

Quite right too. Gufferooni is a terrible surname.

Copper wrote:

Erm. Why is that the way it should be?

Gosh... This is obviously an emotive subject for the Coppster!

Aodan wrote:

This has the added benefit of irking my mother in law.

There it is. The perfect reason. And with that simple statement, all of my carefully reasoned arguments, and Halo's eloquent and passioned remarks fall to naught.

Aodan wins.

Andromeda · ***Proud House-Owner***

Whenever it so happens that I decide to run off to vegas for a drive thru wedding, I'll be taking my then-husband's last name.

A few reasons for this:

1. I'm too damn lazy to hyphenate. I can barely handle my signature the length it is now. Add another name to it? No. Thank. You.

2. My last name is my father's last name and for a myriad of reasons, starting with not having seen him since 1986, I dislike and have no relationship with my father, his side of the family, and therefore his name. I was actually going to legally change it when I turned 18, but couldn't decide on something better, so I stuck with it thinking it would get changed eventually anyway - whether I did it through the legal system or just got married.

3. I really truly hate my father.

4. For me, it really has no bearing on associating myself with the side of the family I do like. My mother went back to her maiden name, which is also the same last name as my uncle. My sister got married and took her husband's name. I'm the only one left with this name, save my dad's side of the family, so it has no real association for me.

5. I really, really hate my father.

I do see the point of keeping your own name or hyphenating. You see yourself as still the same person as you were before you were married. Some women see it as being the man's "property" if she takes his name. Hyphenating being that she's still the same person, but then showing respect for the new side of her life too. If I didn't really, really, really hate my dad (did i mention that already? ) it's something I might consider. But as it stands, not in a million years would I keep this name given the option to change it.

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

I was just reading the other day that if you move to Bristol and move in with a member of biscuity pretend royalty, you get to change your name to whatever you like without need to resort to legal stuff.

Apparently.

Just sayin' is all...

HaloBurn · **Dad** Yarrr...

HaloBurn wrote:

Wife takes Husband's name anything else is just a bunch of pretentious twaddly nonsense thought up by people with nothing better to do with their time who may as well have stupid bint sewn into their versketchy dresses and screen printed onto their channel handbags - oh and anyone with a trans atlantic accent should be shipped to the middle of the Atlantic with immediate effect.

heh just re-read sounds like I'm being a bit harsh, it's Pretentiousness I'm having a go at more than anything else here. Oh and Sharon or Kelly Osborne have trans atlantic accents so does Carol Smiley.

Short Santa · **For entertainment purposes only!**

The Latin American system is an interesting way of dealing with this, if a little complex. Let me try and explain:

Mr X-Y marries Ms. A-B. They have a child.

Child takes the last part of the Mothers surname and the last part of the fathers surname to form their own surname hence in this example the child would be 'child B-Y'. Neither parent changes their name. This way the child has a name connection to both parents whilst having a completely new name.

In addition this retains reference to the parents own parents (the childs grandparents).

As I said complex but interesting.

PS I don't think people should go about changing their names just because they got married

Lite · **I'm lite... and I'm fantastic!**

hehe yep biglet I had a sneaky vote for number 3

You can probally work out why...

HaloBurn · **Dad** Yarrr...

Oh I forgot about other circumstances can I change my vote?

I guess it's up to the people involved what name they take, can I get back to ranting about pretensious poeple and transatlantic accents?

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Ummm. Because you like ice cream? Or because you have a cat? Nope. I'm stumped.

As for Santa - South Americans are clearly slighty mad! But cool.

BrianS · Still Number One

My wife was none-too-happy about taking my name but she did, I think just out of tradition and because her mom was pressuring her.

She had a proper Scottish name - Muirhead
Now she has what she calls a boring name - Smith

I don't disagree that my last name is boring, but its all i've ever known.

Now her cousin (also formerly a Muirhead), dropped her middle name, made Muirhead her new middle name and took her husbands last name. I thought that was a little odd

Andromeda · ***Proud House-Owner***

BrianS wrote:

Now her cousin (also formerly a Muirhead), dropped her middle name, made Muirhead her new middle name and took her husbands last name. I thought that was a little odd

Actually I see that quite a lot. It always sticks out in my mind because it makes my job harder

, but it is very common.

NateO · Vice JDK and Man of the People

Have to agree with Kate-mate. 'Tis the way it should be.

Copper · **Superhero Extraordinaire**

NateO wrote:

Have to agree with Kate-mate. 'Tis the way it should be.

I say again: Why?

I have no intention of losing my surname identity, even if I met the most perfect human being alive. Strikes me as a very odd tradition, despite Big's rantings about practicality. Go the South Americans!

NateO · Vice JDK and Man of the People

Nathan jr. will be an Oliver, to be certain, not fubar-Oliver.

If my wife wants to keep her old man's name, she should either stay single or marry within her own family!

-- Edited by NateO at 21:45, 2005-09-29

NateO · Vice JDK and Man of the People

HaloBurn wrote:

oh and anyone with a trans atlantic accent should be shipped to the middle of the Atlantic with immediate effect.

Definitely not following this one.

sha76jam · Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree

Ah, but Nate, you have a perfectly decent surname that, unless you're unfortunate enough to fall for an Olivia, should go nicely with your future bride's name and so be less of an issue. (What? You thought this was a feminist issue? Nah, 9 times out of 10 it's more about aesthetics.)

I have an issue for you all: I always hated the surname I grew up with, nothing against my parents, so wouldn't have offended them by changing it, but was glad to get a new one when I got married. Now divorced, but have kept the surname for not only that reason, but also because it's a pain in the arse changing it and, more importantly, it's the name I've been known by all my working life. So, were I to remarry (no, sorry, no gossip for you) at least 2 of these reasons would still hold. What do I do if prefer my current name to his?

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Copper wrote:

I have no intention of losing my surname identity, even if I met the most perfect human being alive.

So your surname defines your identity, huh?

Interesting.

So... why do you use a psudonym online?

Zem YN3B · Really Bored Matress

Aodan wrote:

Legally (license, social security card, bank/credit/etc) I kept my last name. Socially (with family and some friends) I use his.

This is also what my wife did, more or less. She legally hyphenated, but socially uses my name. However, it's basically backward-- from your situation, she hyphenated out of pressure from her mother. Her mom is a single mom with two daughters, and Jessica is "the last Gale ..." never mind that there's another daughter. Fooey.

Another random note, my parents being Cuban, I at least am aware of (but never use) my full full name: Raphael Eduardo Bolet Alvarez Guzman Sosa.

First, Middle, Father's last, Mother's last, Father's mother's last, Mother's mother's last.

JonnyStead · **"I'm Lois!"**

Copper wrote:

Why? I have no intention of losing my surname identity, even if I met the most perfect human being alive. Strikes me as a very odd tradition, despite Big's rantings about practicality. Go the South Americans!

You'd kinda have to find someone spectacularly insane enough to propose first Cop - I think its fair to say you wont be agonising over this one...

Sorry that was harsh and not in keeping with my new tolerent stance on life. But hey its friday... so there - well done on the thesis thingy by the way - did it take long?

Oh and And "Whenever it so happens that I decide to run off to vegas for a drive thru wedding, I'll be taking my then-husband's last name." My surname is cool - and I thankyee for the signal - Vegas far from yours?