The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A businessman who placed a sign saying "thief" around an employee and marched him to a police station has had to pay him £13,000.
Simon Cremer claimed Mark Gilbert had stolen a cheque for £845 from him.
But Mr Gilbert, who claims he was owed the cash, is understood to have sued his former employer for the distress and humiliation caused.
Mr Cremer, who runs a flooring business in Witham, Essex, said lawyers had advised him to settle out of court.
He said: "I am very disappointed. I am very dissatisfied with the legal system.
"My legal team advised it would be cheaper to settle than go to court - which could have cost £20,000, that is money I don't have."
Mr Cremer, 46, and the three employees were arrested and accused of false imprisonment following the incident in September 2008, but the charges were later dropped.
Mr Gilbert was marched through Witham with the sign dangling from his neck.
The sign, written on cardboard, said: "THIEF. I stole £845 am on my way to police station."
But Mr Gilbert, 40, told a newspaper that he had been owed wages - a claim denied by Mr Cremer. Whatever the ins and outs of the case, you do have to admire the sheer old school style of dragging a man to the police station with a sign around his neck!
He must be gutted though - lost £845 and then had to pay out £18000 in damages! Given that libel is defensible by truth, I can only assume that he was unable to prove the theft!
I do wonder what the full story is here. There's the unpaid wages & false imprisonment bit, and the fact Max Clifford isn't championing him as a people's hero...