The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
So I arrive at my friend, Kelly's, wedding reception and we're celebrating that and whatnot... Six hours and eight Beam & Coke's later, I'm going for a refill, and I'm standing in line and this girl I've never met (different friend) walked up and asks "Excuse me, you're Nate, right?" I says "I sure am." She says "Ah, Kelly's told me about you. I wanted to let you know that while I think you're good looking, I can't date you."
Dazed, confused and wondering who has slipped a hit of acid in my drink, I dare to ask "Really, why is that?" She says "Because you smoke." I respond "Aye, true indeed. And, this is a problem, I take it." She says "Well yes, I like to run marathons, and smokers don't run marathons." My response is "Well, this smoker doesn't... Didn't we domesticate the horse for this sort of thing... So, in any case, you think I'm good looking?" She says "Yes."
So I settled for that and said "Well, that'll have to do..." And continued with my evening.
Lucky escape Nate mate; while the nutter thinks you are good looking, she doesn't want to date you. You could be saving yourself a whole load of hassle here.
Of course, Kelly may have said "I've got this friend called Nate, you should date him"...
I'd like you to know I can't date you either, the smoking's bad enough, but having the body of a badger, with green guffs... Sorry.
She'd have been disappinted if you'd been a non-smoker and explained that depite having healthy tar free lungs, you still had no intention of running a marathon.
Like a wise man once said, "Didn't we domesticate the horse for this sort of thing..."
I'd like you to know I can't date you either, the smoking's bad enough, but having the body of a badger, with green guffs... Sorry.
Sacre Merde!! It's happening again! Nnnooooo....
I'm pretty sure you're right on all accounts, Kelly probably said something, and yes, not worth it. But the question does remain, why say anything at all? One potential reason I could think would be a serious case of inebriation, yet, still... What's wrong with being a polite and friendly, non-belligerent, drunk?
I can't picture a guy, while sober or drunk, approaching a female that he finds to be attractive and saying 'Nope, can't date you, you smoker.' Just can't do it!!
Heh, you know it D.D., that would be the case! Sounds wise, indeed...
She's obviouly not quite sane, I still reckon you've had a lucky escape. Imagine if you weren't a smoker: "Excuse me, you're Nate, right?", "I sure am.", "Ah, Kelly's told me about you. I wanted to let you know I think you're good looking so I will be dating you."
Definitely potential stalker material. Smoking may have saved your life!
Nate me ol' mate - ultimately you still find youself single -
TRUST ME
Thats the way to go less you end up in conversations like 'lets talk about our relationship' or 'how often do you think about me' or 'lets go and buy something red' or 'sleeping with my sister was bound to annoy me' etc etc
-- Edited by JonnyStead at 15:21, 2005-09-08
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
I fully agree with And, apart from I'd never say 'sleeping with my sister was bound to annoy me', I'd be more likely to go with 'I have a sister?', if I did have a sister I feel I'd say something somewhat stonger.
Have you guys really met chicks who say that? Honestly?
Er, yes... My ex-girfriend of two years used to literally ask me this all the time. Even worse, I'd get a verbal flogging for saying overly generic things like 'you're beautiful' or if two of things I made up were too similar to one another!
I was in the pub at lunchtime. An Australian pub that was showing the Cricket. There was a guy in there with his bird, watching the cricket. She clearly wasn't impressed and started having a go, telling him that he clearly placed his precious cricket over her. He just looked bemused. When she left in a huff, he calmly went to the bar and ordered another drink.
But how do you tell. We just don't know until it's far, far too late. Usually when we're watching a great movie or trying to get to sleep after a really hard day, or simply staring into space with a glazed expression (one of my favourite activities) and then we hear the dreaded phrase "What are you thinking about?" floating into our conciousness!
"simply staring into space with a glazed expression" gives us the impression that you're thinking about something quite distracting, I'd recommend going with a neutral answer to the "what are you thinking about?" question here, unless you're with a woman stupid enough to believe you if you say "Just thinking about us darling". "That fantastic pie I had for lunch last Tuesday" won't get you any brownie points, buts it's a whole lot better than "That fantastic waitress from Tuesday lunchtime".
Why do I need to fib, though. When I'm staring into space with a glazed expression, my mind is a void. I'm not thinking about anything. Nada. Just kinda... staring. Into... space. Glazedly (is that a word? Didn't think so.)
I think the problem lies in the question itself, not in the answer.
If I saw someone zoning out, I think I would see it for just that... zoning out. Of course, if it went on for 5 or 10 minutes I might ask "you ok?" just so I know the guy wasn't having a stroke or something At that point a simple "yep" would be sufficient and it would be dropped.
IMO, the "what are you thinking?" question is just so inane that I think the chick would deserve "the waitress from tuesday's lunch" as an answer.
But how do you tell. We just don't know until it's far, far too late. Usually when we're watching a great movie or trying to get to sleep after a really hard day, or simply staring into space with a glazed expression (one of my favourite activities) and then we hear the dreaded phrase "What are you thinking about?" floating into our conciousness!
Far too late, mate...
Heh, yeah, I've gotten that one too! Sorry, dude, you're not allow to drift off randomly for periods of time!