The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Well in this months edition there is a crap footie-type game in the middle, a pull-out snakes & ladders type affair, it contains picture of Des Lynam with word bubbles saying things like "Des Says, Offside", that kind of thing.
So, the other day someone in the office went to the bog and layed something particulaly long brown and nasty, which went all the way round the u-bend and STILL stuck out the water! Seeing the opportunity, I cut out a 'Des Says' which declared 'You're sh*te an you know you are!', stuck it on a wee thin stick with some tape, flag-style, and stuck it in the part of the offending mega-poo which was still sticking out of the water.
Even the head of IT had a good chortle when he went for hos mid-morning read of The Metro!
We used to have a real problem with log layers. Never did quite work out who was doing it, but it stopped about 6 months ago and we've never had a problem with it since. We still have serial skid-markers, which is grim, but not so bad.
Damo... I'm getting worried about you. I'm beginning to suspect that you may be something of a closet minger...
