The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Over the past two days I have learnt the following about Darren, so as to not misrepresent him in any way the following are all quotes:
"I have been known to wear clean knickers, although I am advised that they don't suit me. Especially the frilly ones."
"Hang on. Just got my white plastic stiletto heel stuck in a grating.
I'll have you know that harnesses and frilly pants are all the range in the trendy parts of Bristol. I can't help it if you're not as up-to-the-minute with your fashion as me."
"Negliges for work."
My mental image of Darren has changed considerably in the last 48 hours!
