The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
I have this joke. It's great. The funniest joke ever. Honest. I nearly died laughing! And I'm gonna share it with you guys cos you're all so nice. No really. Here it is:
A chicken walks into a library and looks at the librarian.
'Bawk!' the chicken says.
'Do you want a book?' asks the librarian.
'Bawk,' the chicken agrees. The librarian gives it a book and it walks out.
About half an hour later the chicken comes back. 'Bawk bawk!' the chicken says.
'Do you want two books?' asks the librarian.
'Bawk bawk' the chicken agrees.
The librarian gives it two books and it walks out. Another half hour later the chicken comes back again.
'Baawwwwk, bawk bawk!' the chicken says.
'Do you want a long book and two short ones?' asks the librarian.
'Baawwwk, bawk bawk' the chicken agrees. The librarian gives it a long book and two short ones and it walks out. The librarian is getting pretty curious about this chicken, so she follows it this time. It takes the books to a pond where a frog is waiting.
I was trying to think of a way to ramp up the hilarity of this um, joke, from negative to some. When I recalled some sapient advice dropped on me by the Swede some time ago. He says 'Nate, you can't polish a turd.'
