The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Teachers should stop calling bright pupils "clever" for fear they might not be considered "cool" by classmates, a union has been told.
Instead they should refer to academic high-achievers as "successful", the Professional Association of Teachers' conference in Oxford heard.
Simon Smith, a teacher from Essex, said it was important to avoid a culture which "mocks being clever".
It's a worry that Simon is in a position to influence the academic future of so many children. If I had kids at that school, I'd have to seriously question whether he was 'successful' enough to teach them!