The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
I expect that I'll go through a few stages if that happens:
I would have to eat a whole packet (one of the double ones) of Jammie Dodgers to get over the initial shock.
Then, when denial sets in, I'll be wanting a bag of Mini Jammie Dodgers to help me accept the truth.
Next comes anger. I'll be very angry and the only thing that will calm me down is another double pack of jammies.
I may then start to bargain with you - I'll give you a pack of JD's for you unswerving loyalty - that sort of thing.
Depression. there's only one cure for it. More Jammie Dodgers.
Finally, I will just have to learn to accept that I cannot ask you to turn on one another (even in the 'another' in this case is my wife). A couple more packs of JD's will help that process along.
I suspect however, by that point I'll be more concerned with the straining buttons on my shirt than making a lame joke at Vic's expense.
Darren, why are you trying to stir up trouble against me? I notice that you are the only one who thought anything untoward about my comment - do you have anything to say to defend yourself?