The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
So, a bunch of kids from my estate decided to try the old 'ring-the-doorbell-and-run-away' trick on me today.
Only thing is, I was sitting in the lounge, looking at them out of the window and watched them walk up the path, heard them ring the doorbell, giggling and then watched them run away across the front of the house. So quite rightly I didn't shift from my comfy spot. They seemed to enjoy it anyway.
Now my point is this. They had a choice of 2 directions to run. Up or down the path. Down would have allowed them an easy escape without me being able to see they had gone, menaing that it's likely that I would have come to the door, thus validating all their hard work and planning. Sadly they chose the latter.
Grumpy old man, eh? When I was a lad, we had real grumpy old men, not these pretend substitute watered down grumpy old men that aren't even really old that kids have today. Our gruimpy old men had walking stick that they waved in anger. And we had to contend with gates and dogs and mantraps, risking our very lives if we wanted to play doorbell pranks. I blame the parents. And TV. And McDonalds.
Oh, and get a water pistol. Meddling kids need to be taught a lesson. I am thinking of using one on my godson who was visiting at the weekend and woke me up at 6.30 on Sunday morning.
