The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A prolific burglar has been killed after his neck was severely cut and his left hand chopped off in a samurai sword attack, US police have said.
Just days after being released from prison, the man was spotted allegedly breaking into the garage of a house that was rented by four students.
The group asked him to stop and while they called police, the man lunged at one of them, who retaliated by striking him with the sword, officers said.
The unnamed man, who studies medicine at Baltimore's Johns Hopkins University, has been questioned by police about the incident off campus early on Tuesday.
But he may not be charged if he is found to have acted in self-defence.
The student had recently reported a burglary in which thieves reportedly took laptop computers and a Sony PlayStation.
Baltimore police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said: "I think everyone has the right to first of all defend themselves and defend their home.
"And if this individual felt that a samurai sword was an appropriate tool to do so, I'm not in a position to say that's good or bad."
The burglar, who was in his late 40s, had a history of break-ins and was released from prison last Saturday, Mr Guglielmi said.
America, where the right to bear arms is constitutionally protected, has few restrictions on owning swords and samurai ones are legal.
They are banned in England and Wales, with exception of collectors.
The incident in Baltimore was the latest tragedy involving a top US university.
On Monday, police found the body of a 24-year-old Yale University student stuffed in a laboratory wall.
What with stories like this and 'The Wire' and 'Homicide: Life on the Street', Baltimore seems like a really dodgy place to live! Especially if you're a burglar.
Although I couldn't possibly condone the talking of a life, surely a burglar has to accept that if he's gonna break into someone's house, he's taking the risk that someone's gonna be a mite upset about it!
I've always said - if they are dead, they cant argue that you killed them in self defence or not, so burglars break into my house, with me in it at their peril...
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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
When samurai swords are outlawed, only outlaws will have samurai swords...
If said act of defense of property had taken place elsewhere, would the swordsman have taken up residence with Tony Martin?...I've tried many times, but cannot raise any sympathy for criminals......Ben
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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr