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The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> JDBB -> The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> How to use DRM
Post Info TOPIC: How to use DRM
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Date: Sep 11, 2009
How to use DRM
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Heh...

Arkham Asylum Pirates Get a Gimpy Batman


Did you illegally download a cracked version of Arkham Asylum for the PC? Hope you enjoy playing with a Batman who has conveniently forgotten some of his moveset, rendering the game unbeatable.

Do you know what I love? Creative DRM. Any developer can throw in a mandated online check, or give you a limited number of installs, or something boring like that, but then you have developers with a cruel sense of humor who make it so that pirates have their genitals attacked by ill-tempered ferrets, and the ferrets are on fire. That's going above the call of duty right there.

Apparently, one of said developers is Rocksteady Studios, creators of critical darling Batman: Arkham Asylum. Pirates who have illegally acquired the PC version of the game will find themselves playing the game with a Batman who has apparently forgotten how to use his moves, notably the glide-jump. In an amusing little thread on the Eidos forums, one pirate came to innocently report a bug, claiming that instead of gliding when the appropriate input was given, the Dark Knight would instead just spread his wings and fall to his death in poison gas.

Quoth an Eidos admin in response:

The problem you have encountered is a hook in the copy protection, to catch out people who try and download cracked versions of the game for free.

It's not a bug in the game's code, it's a bug in your moral code.

Since its acquisition of Rocksteady parent Eidos, Square-Enix has announced plans to use similar DRM in its upcoming Final Fantasy XIII, where any attempt to use magic will always result in summoning a rampaging horde of Chocobos to crush the party, the player, and anyone they've ever loved.

Made me chuckle, anyway!

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JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Date: Sep 11, 2009
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I would love to see it in other games to - for instance any time Superman attempts to fly he instead kicks himself savagely in the crackers and hits the deck, losing a life -

the word SPACKA !!!! could also flash up on the screen accompanied by the music to Trumpton.....


actually - this is sounding pretty good - people will probably want the cracked version to see that level of genius !

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Truckman


Old.
But wise!





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Date: Sep 11, 2009
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My copy of Microsoft Solitaire is evidently genuine because my genitals have never been attacked by flaming ferrets...Unless, of course, they're doing it while I sleep...omfg.gif...Ben

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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Date: Sep 11, 2009
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There are other games Ben - there just are :)

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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





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Date: Sep 11, 2009
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JonnyStead wrote:

There are other games Ben - there just are :)


I'm sure there are, Jon, but I still have uses for my genitals...Really I do...super...Ben

 



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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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Date: Sep 11, 2009
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I think that's brilliant, I really do.  Imagine SPACKA! flashing up on screen instead of POW! or KERBLAMMO!  Especially if you were trying to show off in front of your mates.

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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Date: Sep 12, 2009
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I dunno. I think I'd get upset by the unconventional spelling...

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Truckman


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Date: Sep 12, 2009
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ddvmor wrote:

I dunno. I think I'd get upset by the unconventional spelling...


You just hit on the reason I refuse to read text messages on a cell phone...Apparently when composing a text message one is required to check one's vocabulary, grammar rules and spelling skills at the door...spaz...Ben

 



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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Date: Sep 12, 2009
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Sorry, Ben. I usually try only to hit on ladies.

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Truckman


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Date: Sep 12, 2009
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ddvmor wrote:

Sorry, Ben. I usually try only to hit on ladies.


You might want to leave that to us more experienced veterans...date.gif...Ben

 



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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Date: Sep 13, 2009
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I probably should. I'm always getting it wrong. Last week I wasted 15 minutes trying to convince a lamp post to come home with me.

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Truckman


Old.
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Date: Sep 13, 2009
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ddvmor wrote:

Last week I wasted 15 minutes trying to convince a lamp post to come home with me.


So, did you get lucky or not?...hump.gif...Ben

 



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sha76jam


Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree


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Date: Sep 13, 2009
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Goodness knows how Catfish puts up with you!

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