The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
I'm a bit better and am back at work. Much to the relief of my boss who said he woke up in the night worried that I wouldn't be in and he'd have to run the anti-fraud audits himself. Bless him. I don't think I've ever seen anyone quite so pleased to see me!