The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A Windsor hairstylist who suffered "recognizable psychological injury" after discovering a dead fly in a bottle of Culligan water has been awarded more than $340,000 in damages.
On Nov. 21, 2001 Mustapha and his wife Lynn, who was seven months pregnant, were preparing a new bottle of Culligan water to put in their dispenser when she saw something dark in the bottle. Both looked closely and saw legs and wings and realized it was a dead fly.
Lynn Mustapha vomited immediately and Martin vomited later in the evening.
I'm glad they brought that up!
Prior to the fly incident Mustapha would shower daily, singing while doing so.
Afterward Mustapha would stand in the bathroom contemplating whether to shower or not and would often just get dressed and leave or wipe a cloth under his arms before applying deodorant.
I was particularly impressed by the therapy he underwent:
Following therapy Mustapha was able to stick his head under the water so it would not touch his face.
I wish I could do that. It'd be a great party trick!
Now... it may just be my suspicious mind working overtime, but I'm reasonably certain that such an extreme reaction to a dead fly in a bottle of water must indicate that there was some sort of... er... problem beforehand. I mean... it was a dead fly! Duh.
I don't get what is so hard about just picking the dead fly out and going on your marry way. I mean come on I would probably not even dump the water, its just a dead fly.