A question for the king

sha76jam · Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree

A question for the king

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Indeed. You may proceed with your mocking...

-- Edited by ddvmor at 20:36, 2005-04-24

Short Santa · **For entertainment purposes only!**

yeah, but they're basically Volksvagens these days aren't they?

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Quite right. Just keep saying that.

Better than Nissan Micras, anyway!

sha76jam · Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree

Would it be OK if I soeted out tax & breakdown cover & a new wing mirror before I started mocking you?

Aodan · Teiam Member

It's cute.

And probably gets good gas mileage.

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Yup. And won't use much petrol either!

Andromeda · ***Proud House-Owner***

Awww! It's so...... cute!

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Yes yes. keep it coming. There's not much quality mocking going on here. Am I gonna have to wait for Stead to come online? Come on people. Lets show him how mocking should be done...

Copper · **Superhero Extraordinaire**

Our friends across the pond have clearly missed something here. Let's see.

Bigman owns a skoda.

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Hmm. I am immune to your jibing on the basis that you own a Metro.

Lite · **I'm lite... and I'm fantastic!**

Let the skoda jokes start!

Why do skodas have a rear wash wipe ?
To remove the flies that crash into them.

How do you double the value of a Skoda ?
Fill the tank !

What do you call a skoda driver who say's he has a speeding ticket ????
A Dreamer.

What do you call a Skoda at the the top of a hill ?
A miracle.

What happened after the Skoda hit a cat ?
The cats doing fine - the Skoda died !

How do you overtake a Skoda ?
Run !

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Better, better. the quality is improving.

So remind me Lite... what sort of car do you have?

Lite · **I'm lite... and I'm fantastic!**

I drive a very very old L Reg Vauxhall Corsa that insists on trying to fall apart at lest once a month.. the name 'rust bucket' comes to mind alot when i drive it :P

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Rust bucket eh? L reg eh?

Mine has no rust. One lady owner, who looked after it very well. And it's M reg. So less mocking from you, young lady. Let someone with a proper car mock me!

Lite · **I'm lite... and I'm fantastic!**

One lady owner hu? just as i thought... only ladies drive Skoda's

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

As a rule, yes.

Let me make something aboslutely crystal clear here:

Stead's ego is a very fragile thing. Large, but fragile. Now it's only a matter of time before a man with an ego as large as that, who also drives a Nissan Micra, come crashing down to reality. It might break him (there is a possibility that this has already happened).

My purchase of a skoda is purely an exercise in breaking that fall. Whereas before he may have looked at his car one day and said 'Oh my God. I drive a Micra. Must commit suicide!' he will now be able to look at it and say 'Oh my God. I drive a Micra... but Dazza drives a Skoda. So that's alright then'.

He should be grateful. I have taken this drastic action to save his life.

Lite · **I'm lite... and I'm fantastic!**

better watch out big.... Stead's going to swoon at your feet in a mo..

Your his hero

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

I know.

KevinGumzmi · Really Bored Member

quote:
Originally posted by: ddvmor
"Let someone with a proper car mock me!"

I guess that would be me then?

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Go on then. Do your worst. I can take it.

KevinGumzmi · Really Bored Member

Why does a Skoda have a double rear window heater ?
To keep everyones hands warm when they are pushing it !

There is a big competition at my local pub the first prize is a scoda,
........the second prize is two skodas !

You don't have to think up any Skoda Jokes,
.........the Skoda is a Joke !

A guy goes into his local garage and asks "Do you have a windscreen wiper for my Skoda???"
"Sounds like a fair swap" replied the man in the garage.

What happens if you apply rust remover to a Skoda ?
It dissappears!

How do you make a Skoda look good?
Park it between two Ladas!

What do you have to do if your Skoda gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees?
Stop pushing and take refuge in the car!

What's the top speed of a Skoda?
Depends on the truck that is towing it!

How's this?

-- Edited by KevinGumzmi at 10:03, 2005-04-26

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Hmm. Not overly original. I expected better of you.

KevinGumzmi · Really Bored Member

Yeah, but that car is so ridiculous, I was laughing so hard that I couldn't come up with some jokes of my own, I just googled some...

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Heh. Well I have explained my reasons for it's purchase. Now go away and mock Stead for his Micra ownership!

Short Santa · **For entertainment purposes only!**

Copper's idea:

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Cheeky bloody monkeys.

At least I don't drive a metro, eh?

I'm off to think of a better retort. I may be some time.

Copper · **Superhero Extraordinaire**

Taking you some time, eh? Hmmm?

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Well I came up with a really good one. But I decided it was to incisive and cutting and it might make you and Santa (particularly Santa) cry.

Copper · **Superhero Extraordinaire**

Reckon?