The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
At the risk of competing with Susan for a Darwin award, I am going to relay a stupid thing I did last night.
I retired from my superhero duties (after an enjoyable killing spree with my good friends Biglet and Dido - Shortarse Santa was being a daddy and not sure where Little Lite was..) at about 10.30. The cats were staring at me and headbutting my legs for food.
I decided to treat them to some fish I had frozen in the freezer. Two pieces of fish were frozen together. Forgetting I had left my superhero powers in cyberspace, I casually picked up a sharp knife and proceeded to wedge it in between the frozen fish segments.
I succeeded in simultaneously flinging both bits of fish across the room and jamming the knife into my left middle finger.
if its your 'mouse' hånd, you can get summat that sträps to yöur head and you cån use your head ås a möuse pointer, if not then you had better train a cat, or puit superglue over the cut (seriously)
Originally posted by: Short Santa "if its your 'mouse' hånd, you can get summat that sträps to yöur head and you cån use your head ås a möuse pointer, if not then you had better train a cat, or puit superglue over the cut (seriously)"
and? of my three 'helpful' suggestions, two were actually valid, and if your cats were even half as clever as Timo, the third would not have been too bad.
i burnt my hands three times this week! 
