The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A television ad showing Ainsley Harriott kissing a stove top could prompt children to copy the celebrity chef and harm themselves, the advertising watchdog ruled today.
In the advert for Fairy Power Spray, the Ready Steady Cook host rested his face on a stove hob and kissed it, declaring: "It's a love hate relationship. Love cooking on it. Hate fighting burnt-on grease off it. Fairy Power Spray. Everyday you squirt, wait and wipe. Love it."
The Advertising Standards Authority ruled that the advert, made by the Grey London agency, breached its regulations relating to the harming of children, but conceded that young people were unlikely to imitate the chef.
"We considered that, even if unlikely to be directly emulated, the actions featured in the advertisement gave the impression that ovens and hobs were perfectly safe to touch," the ASA said.
"We were concerned that children could be harmed as a result."
Following complaints, Procter & Gamble, the manufacturer of the spray and one of the largest advertisers in the world, asked that the advert not be shown during children's television programmes.
The advertising watchdog also rejected complaints from the Salt Manufacturers' Association that a government health campaign linking salt intake to high blood pressure, heart disease and strokes was misleading.
The poster and television campaign from the advertising agency HHCL featured an animated Sid the Slug character that warned that "too much salt could lead to a heart attack".
Salt manufacturers had objected that the Food Standards Agency campaign was incorrect and potentially damaging as it was "based on the fact that salt kills slugs and the assertion that it will kill also humans".
But the ASA said the food regulator had based its commercials on sound scientific information.
Is it just me, or is the whole cooker kissing thing only going to be a problem for really stupid people? And on the basis of Survival Of the Fittest, anyone who manages to kill themselves whilst giving a flaming hob the toungue is better off out of the gene pool.
