The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
An allied commander in WWII, and an avid fan of surfing, Captain Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill aka "Fighting Jack Churchill" aka "Mad Jack" was basically the craziest motherfucker in the whole damn war.
He volunteered for commando duty, not actually knowing what it entailed, but knowing that it sounded dangerous, and therefore fun. He is best known for saying that "any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed" and, in following with this, for carrying a sword into battle. In WWII. And not one of those sissy ceremonial things the Marines have. No, Jack carried a fucking claymore. And he used it, too. He is credited with capturing a total of 42 Germans and a mortar squad in the middle of the night, using only his sword.
Churchill and his team were tasked with capturing a German fortification creatively called "Point 622." Churchill took the lead, charging ahead of the group into the dark through the barbed wire and mines, pitching grenades as he went. Although his unit did their best to catch up, all but six of them were lost to silly things like death. Of those six, half were wounded and all any of them had left were pistols. Then a mortar shell swung in and killed/mortally wounded everyone who wasn't Jack Churchill.
When the Germans found him, he was playing "Will Ye No Come Back Again?" on his bagpipes. Oh, we didn't mention that? He carried them right next to his big fucking sword.
After being sent to a concentration camp, he got bored and left. Just walked out. They caught him again, and sent him to a new camp. So he left again. After walking 150 miles with only a rusty can of onions for food, he was picked up by the Americans and sent back to Britain, where he demanded to be sent back into the field, only to find out (with great disappointment) the war had ended while he was on his way there. As he later said to his friends, "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!"
One of the busiest warriors ever is one of my personal heroes, Robin Olds...Best known as a Colonel for his exploits in the Vietnam war, he began his military career in WWII after graduation from West Point in June 1943...He was assigned to fly fighter escort to a bomber group in a P-38 and later was assigned the same job in the legendary P-51...The war only had two years left of fighting but Olds wasted no time in downing 13 enemy aircraft during his tour of duty (five is an ace)...He was also credited with destroying over 11 aircraft on the ground...
Olds abilities as a wartime commander were recognized by making him a squadron commander at the age of 22 and yet always a maverick and never happy with the decisions of those who outranked him, Olds sat out the Korean War in various assignments around the world...Olds made his true mark as an air legend in the Vietnam war as he assumed command of an entire wing and yet refused to sit back in command while junior pilots took the risks...He conceived and executed Operation Bolo and although the plan was untried, he led the first fighter group to test what became one of the most successful fighter techniques in the war...During his tour of duty he was credited with shooting down four more enemy aircraft, nimble, elusive Soviet MIGs, giving him triple ace status with 17 confirmed kills...
By this time a bird colonel, he still enjoyed his reputation as a rule-bender and maverick...Against USAF regulations, he had a grown a full and waxed mustache in Vietnam and many of the men working for him also grew one...When he reported back to Washigton to accept his next assignment, Chief of Staff Gen. McConnell walked up to him, put his finger under the Colonel's nose and said three words, "Take it off!"...Olds, knowing he was bucking a stacked deck this time said, "Yes sir" and spent the remainder of his AF career with a bare lip...
After being promoted to Brigadier General, Olds returned to SE Asia as an inspector with orders to assess the USAF's military capabilities...Upon reporting back to his superiors in Washington, Olds reported to them, "USAF pilots couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag"...He offered to take a reduction in grade back down to Colonel if he could return to operational command of a fighter wing and straighten out the situation...His suggestion was refused and General Olds turned in his resignation and retired after more than thirty years active service to his country...
Awards and medals are something that can be used as one measure of a military career...We've all seen photos of career officers with many medals pinned to their uniform...Olds was not a man who enjoyed wearing medals but he also would literally not have room on his uniform for every decoration to which he was awarded...While doing some research recently on another highly decorated serviceman, I ran across reference to the Air Medal...I had not previously researched this seldom awarded medal but I discovered that: The Air Medal is awarded to any person who, while serving in any capacity in or with the Armed Forces of the United States, shall have distinguished himself/herself by meritorious achievement while participating in aerial flight.The list of Air Medal recipients is extensive Including Gen. James Doolittle, himself a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient who also was awarded the Air Medal with three Oak Leaf clusters...When I came to the name of Gen. Robin Olds, I was stunned...In addition to the Distinguished Service Medal, the Silver Star with three Oak Leaf Clusters, the Distinguished Flying Cross with five Oak Leaf Clusters and a number of foreign service awards, Olds was awarded the Air Medal with thirty nine Oak Leaf Clusters...When does a man find the time in his career to command several air wings, shoot down 17 enemy aircraft in battles in two wars and still have time to perform his job well enough elsewhere to be awarded 40 Air Medals?...
Here is a link to an article showing some of his accomplishments and a partial list of his awards...
I've always felt a connection with the General since he flew the same aircraft, F-105's and F-4's, that I worked on...It would have been an honor to have served under him...Ben
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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
And just a note on the original article Darren cited...The writer stated that many medals were given to Lt. Audie Murphy; this is incorrect...Medals are never "given" for gallantry and bravery, they are instead awarded by a grateful nation...I have even heard it said that they are earned and yet recipients of these awards have often said they did nothing more than any other warrior on the field had done and that, if anything, the medals should be awarded to all present...Ben
-- Edited by Truckman at 04:51, 2009-02-11
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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr