The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Hawk fan says bathroom sex scandal "ruined my life" A Carroll woman who was caught having sex in the men's room at an Iowa Hawkeye football game in Minneapolis last weekend says she’d had so much wine before kickoff that she doesn’t remember walking into the restroom, the man she had sex with in a stall, or when the police opened the door.
What Lois Feldman, 38, will remember is the humiliation afterward.
“It’s ruined my life,” she said through tears today. “Not just the incident but the press.”
Feldman, a married mother of three, has been the target of Internet jokes and prank telephone calls today. She was fired this morning from an assisted living center, where she had been an administrator.
Feldman said her husband, Kelly, has been supportive. She said he faults himself for not going with her when she left her seat to use the restroom before halftime.
“I don’t know what happened,” Lois Feldman said. “But I don’t deny that it did happen because obviously there are police reports.”
[...]
Chuck Miner, deputy chief of the University of Minnesota police department ... said police didn’t measure the blood-alcohol level of Feldman or Walsh. Asked to respond to Feldman’s claim that she was too drunk to recall the incident, Miner said: “That’s probably an accurate statement.”
Feldman said she’d never met Walsh.
“I don’t know who this man is,” she said today. “I just found out his name in the paper last night.”
I'm not sure whether it would be more humiliating to be her husband or one of her kids...