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Post Info TOPIC: Jon Stead announces bid for U.S. citizenship...


Old.
But wise!





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Date: Sep 2, 2008
Jon Stead announces bid for U.S. citizenship...


Just so he can vote for Sarah Palin for Vice President...

Sarah Palin does not have 5 kids, she actually has 7. Their names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig, Chuck Norris, and Jack Bauer.

The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin's eyes.

The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.

The Arctic Circle runs through Alaska so the Sun can have some relief from Sarah Palin's bright glare.

Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.

Sarah Palin is so pro-life that she personally hog-tied two reps from Planned Parenthood who came knocking at her door.

It's not raining in DC. Those are God's tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin's hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.

Sarah Palin is the "other" whom Yoda spoke about.

Sarah Palin's presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.

Sarah Palin fired Jack Bauer because he was too soft in dealing with terrorists.

Sarah Palin's pageant career ended early so other women could have a chance.

Sarah Palin's son Track is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.

Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone. (X-Men reference)

Sarah Palin actually has Big Foot in her freezer.

Sarah Palin gave a speech in Texas after her water broke before flying home to Alaska to give birth. (Actually true)

Sarah Palin doesn't need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

Sarah Palin once spilled coffee on Joe Biden & one of his $400 ties from Pink.

Sarah Palin keeps her hair in a beehive to hide her ninja weaponry.

Sarah Palin will personally open a homemade can of whoopa** on Ahmadinejad, Putin, and Chavez as soon as she's done making mooseburgers for her kids.

A grizzly bear once tried to stare down Sarah Palin. *Once.*

Sarah Palin will send Joe Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.

Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.

Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity's war against the machines. (Terminator reference)

Three of Sarah Palin's 5 kids came out sideways and she never flinched.

Global Warming doesn't kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does. Generally with her bare hands.

Sarah Palin was the original "Deadliest Catch."

Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for Kodiak pelts with a slingshot.

Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even in 1959 that Sarah Palin never finishes last.

Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man's body.

Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.

Sarah Palin killed and ate the Grizzly Man.

Sarah Palin killed and ate Frank Murkowski.

Sarah Palin once won the Iditarod without any dogs. She simply willed the sled to victory.

Sarah Palin once guided Santa's sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.

Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it's in their interest to jump into the boat.

 Sarah Palin wears half the makeup that John Edwards wears and still looks like twice the woman he does.

Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.

Sarah Palin always beats the point spread.

Sarah Palin once bit the head off a live Osprey snatched from the air as it tried to fly off with a fish she caught.

Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.

When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

Sarah Palin plays Whack-a-Mole with her forehead, and always gets a perfect score.

Sarah Palin knows who was on the grassy knoll.

Sarah Palins finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Bidens still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.

Sarah Palin isnt allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because theyre afraid shell use it to kill liberals.

Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.

Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.
 
Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

Sarah Palin pick retroactively makes the theme of #DNC08 Things To Do In Denver When Youre Dead


-- Edited by Truckman at 00:02, 2008-09-03

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"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
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Date: Sep 3, 2008

Despite supporting the Conservatives in the UK, 'Jon Stead' would never support the republicans because of they're extreme pro-life views and the influence of the Christian agenda on their politics

that is all :)

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I am the Jammie King!




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Date: Sep 3, 2008

They do like guns though...

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Old.
But wise!





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Date: Sep 3, 2008

ddvmor wrote:

They do like guns though...



Sarah Palin is a lifetime member of the NRA and a moosehunter...Ben



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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr


"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
Posts: 4979
Date: Sep 5, 2008

True the Guns thing is cool - but she's a creationist. She actually believes that schools should teach children that the universe was created by a big invisible man with a beard to some kind of plan - we really should check the beliefs of NRA members before we arm them, dont you think?

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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson



I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Sep 5, 2008

If he's invisible... how do you know he has a beard? Or even that he's big? Sounds like a conspiracy to me...

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.


"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
Posts: 4979
Date: Sep 5, 2008

The only thing I know is that creationism is load of old knackers along with all other religious beliefs - but 'they' believe in the big bearded one, so you'll have to ask them about the details.

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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson



Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree


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Date: Sep 5, 2008

Are you sure the image of "the big, bearded one" wasn't created by atheists to provide them with an easy source of ridicule?

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Razzlesnarglezzvrmptzz


"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
Posts: 4979
Date: Sep 5, 2008

Nah, I'm pretty sure it was created by artists commissioned by religious leaders to put a face to the myth - kinda makes it easier to swallow if you can 'see it' - you know?

__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson

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