The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Most funny of course where all the sounds - just goes to show sound is the most important part of any movie and the sound engineers and producers should be paid the most... I always thought that...
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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Speaking of nurses, did I ever tell you how the JDK lost his fourth wife?...It's like this:
Darren's fourth wife was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.
They went to the JDK and explained what happened, telling him, ''As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.'' Darren was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.
He finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes her monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran back into the room.
''What happened!?'' they cried. The JDK said, ''I'm not sure; maybe she choked.''
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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
...Ben
...Ben
