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The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> JDBB -> The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> The Susan Vigil
Post Info TOPIC: The Susan Vigil
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Posts: 4979
Date: Aug 6, 2008
The Susan Vigil
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So our fair Susan has been kidnapped by the French!

I'm forming a crack team called the 'Coalition of the Willing, Slightly disturbed, and heavily armed' to go in and get her back - Johnny Rambo style.

I, for my part, will be taking an insanely large weapon and a box of unbelievable luck which will get me out of stupidly tight spots to enable me to complete the mission - which shall be called Operation French Toast

Ben - you wanna join in? Bring stuff that goes bang ok?

The rest of you, who may not be up to the physical stuff (I'm thinking JDK, Hengle etc) can post your normal messages of support etc on this thread!

We leave at dawn! or shortly thereafter depending on how easy it is to get hold of some Euros (Ben - those are the pretend Dollars the silly Europeans use)

-- Edited by JonnyStead at 12:12, 2008-08-06

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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Date: Aug 6, 2008
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Ahh. Well, if you're planning to see some action, you know I'm no good that close to the front, I'll settle for long range encouragement.

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Truckman


Old.
But wise!





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Date: Aug 6, 2008
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I understand she's being held in one of the many French surrender flag factories...My plan is to bring along a team of Ku Klux Klansmen to negotiate the sale of some white sheets before they're cut into flag size...This will keep them busy and later we'll blow up the plant and take them all out at one time...

While this is going on you take out her guards from a distance with the new sniper rifle I've developed...It's chambered in 20/.17 Stead...This is an experimental round based on the 20MM M61 auto-cannon shell necked down to take a .17 caliber bullet...The projectile leaves the muzzle at just under the speed of light, goes back in time and hits the target two minutes before the trigger is pulled...This gives you plenty of time to get back to the H1 Hummer for the getaway...

Meanwhile, I'll slip in unnoticed and rescue Susan from this criminal lair...I suspect she'll want to freshen up first so I'll bring along some lilac perfume and a red silk bustier with fishnet stockings for her...When I get her back to the Hummer, we'll be in the back seat for the de-briefing...You can drive...idea...Ben

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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Date: Aug 6, 2008
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I like it! A couple of revisions though -

Can the Klan - they always drink too much and start being abusive to the air hostesses, particularly if they're black - perhaps a buyer for a hotel chain looking for sheets? Or an Italian - they like the white flag too!

The gun is a great idea but I was planning on going in all hand to hand, with my trustee combat knife and making the other weapons and traps as I go. They'll probably be horribly over engineered but that can be cool -

If you blow up stuff in the compound - using crazy timers, you can act as a diversion?

Susan may have been brainwashed, so she'll probably need carrying out of there - she'll probably be screaming stuff like "No, dont leave my kids behind!" which, of course will be nonsense (she'll thank us later) so I'll stuff a sock in her mouth -

Then I'll meet you back at the Hummer - where you can debrief her (I'll drive), dont put your back out...

__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





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Date: Aug 6, 2008
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Well, I hate to miss a chance to off some KKKers but as long as the hoteler is some pretentious French snoot, that'll be OK...

The explosions are no problem, I've got plenty of proximity fuses and time delay relays in a footlocker that I "forgot" to turn back in to Supply when I was discharged from the USAF...I can pick up some fresh C4 at the airport gift shop on the way out...

I realize the up-close-and-personal tactics are more fun but you'll get less of that damn French blood on you with the sniper gun...I hate the smell of cheap wine...

Just remember: I'll be doing Susan's debriefing alone...I may draw the curtain for that but the video will be for sale in the lobby...eyepopping.gif...Ben

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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Posts: 4979
Date: Aug 6, 2008
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Truckman wrote:

Just remember: I'll be doing Susan's debriefing alone...I may draw the curtain for that but the video will be for sale in the lobby...eyepopping.gif...Ben

Absolutely - she'll "give you a war you wont believe"

You'll enjoy that!



__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





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Posts: 1524
Date: Aug 6, 2008
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JonnyStead wrote:

Absolutely - she'll "give you a war you wont believe"

You'll enjoy that!


She may be stronger than me but I'll have her singing her October song before it's over...Ben



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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Date: Aug 6, 2008
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Please dont tell me thats an Amy Crackhouse referral - dont sully this thread with that rancid talentless bint please!

__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





Status: Offline
Posts: 1524
Date: Aug 6, 2008
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JonnyStead wrote:

Please dont tell me thats an Amy Crackhouse referral - dont sully this thread with that rancid talentless bint please!


What in the heck are you talkng about now?...confused...Ben



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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Date: Aug 6, 2008
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It's any excuse to bring up Winehouse, isn't it, Stead? Amy Amy Amy, that's all we hear.

As for Ben and Susan in that room, as I understand it, he can only hold her, so you won't be missing much.

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





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Date: Aug 6, 2008
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ddvmor wrote:

It's any excuse to bring up Winehouse, isn't it, Stead? Amy Amy Amy, that's all we hear.

There does seem to be something Freudian here...
ddvmor wrote:
As for Ben and Susan in that room, as I understand it, he can only hold her, so you won't be missing much.
I ain't that old yet, junior...date.gif...Ben


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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Aug 6, 2008
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Well... help yourself, mate. Good luck to ya!

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
Posts: 4979
Date: Aug 7, 2008
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Truckman wrote:

JonnyStead wrote:

Please dont tell me thats an Amy Crackhouse referral - dont sully this thread with that rancid talentless bint please!


What in the heck are you talkng about now?...confused...Ben


I googled October Song and got back a load of pages about Amy Winehouse - that's all :)



__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Aug 7, 2008
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Funny. I assumed it was some sort of reference to the book by Beverley Lewis. It wasn't very good.

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.
sha76jam


Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree


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Date: Aug 7, 2008
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I have sent word, by secret means, to Susan of your dastardly plans, I'd be most suprised if you find her when you arrive.

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Razzlesnarglezzvrmptzz
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Posts: 4979
Date: Aug 7, 2008
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This was a rescue mission! You tipped off the kidnappers?!!!

There's always one isnt there Ben...?

Now we have to overcome this obstacle to rescue her... curses....

__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Aug 7, 2008
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I don't think it's a very good idea to refer to Shaz as an 'obstacle'...

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Aodan


Teiam Member




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Date: Aug 7, 2008
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You know I'm no good at this stuff.. so I'll leave the rescuing to the professionals :) I'll just send a cheer from over here and hope she comes back soon :) Her being missing disturbs the balance.

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sha76jam


Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree


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Date: Aug 7, 2008
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I was unconvinced by your motives & your stories of kidnap.

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Razzlesnarglezzvrmptzz
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





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Date: Aug 7, 2008
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JonnyStead wrote:
I googled October Song and got back a load of pages about Amy Winehouse - that's all :)
I was misled...I assumed it had something to do with the end of another baseball season...confused...Ben



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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





Status: Offline
Posts: 1524
Date: Aug 7, 2008
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JonnyStead wrote:
This was a rescue mission! You tipped off the kidnappers?!!!

There's always one isnt there Ben...?
Collaborator...

Edit: She probably wants the red silk bustier and fishnet stockings for herself...They made more than one, PM me your size...Ben

-- Edited by Truckman at 16:02, 2008-08-07

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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
sha76jam


Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree


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Date: Aug 7, 2008
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Nah, I find red runs the risk of looking tacky.

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Razzlesnarglezzvrmptzz
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





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Date: Aug 7, 2008
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Don't worry about it, nobody will see the video but me...

You can trust me, after all I used to be a gun dealer...winner.gif...Ben

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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
sha76jam


Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree


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Posts: 2225
Date: Aug 7, 2008
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Such a kind offer, but think I'll give it a miss.

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Razzlesnarglezzvrmptzz
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Posts: 12736
Date: Aug 11, 2008
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I just had a text message from Susan saying she's currently trapped under a Glacier!

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.
Aodan


Teiam Member




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Date: Aug 17, 2008
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o.O

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*~*Mouth Breathing DVD Extra Watcher*~*
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





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Posts: 1524
Date: Aug 17, 2008
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ddvmor wrote:

I just had a text message from Susan saying she's currently trapped under a Glacier!


The rescue mission was supposed to have included rappelling down the face of the glacier but Stead signed up for "repelling" class where they told him he already repels quite well...That put the mission a week behind and I'm patiently waiting in the ski lodge for him to get here...(Another coffee please, Ursula)...idea...Ben



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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Posts: 4979
Date: Aug 17, 2008
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Sorry mate I had to go all Capt. Big Bollox in the end and perform the mission on my own.

Some concerns were raised about your intentions during the debrief by Senior staff so I was given the Green Light to, as they put it, "Go fully Johnny Rambo and stick it firmly to any surrender eating garlic munchers who get in the way".

As expected resistance was almost unnoticeable except for the noise some of them made running away leaving nothing behind but the 'smell of fear' and some discarded weaponary.

I'm delighted to say Susan was safely delivered back to Blightie at about 6pm today. All very matter of fact, discreet and without any kind of parade - you'd have hated it! smile.gif

Enjoy your coffee and as always thanks for the international support! wink.gif

__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Truckman


Old.
But wise!





Status: Offline
Posts: 1524
Date: Aug 17, 2008
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JonnyStead wrote:
Enjoy your coffee and as always thanks for the international support! wink.gif
Always a pleasure, Jon, it's time for my backrub anyway...biggrin...Ben



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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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Posts: 4979
Date: Aug 17, 2008
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I think you got the better deal in the end! biggrin.gif

-- Edited by JonnyStead at 23:17, 2008-08-17

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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
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